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40 things to do before turning 41

By Rosie Molinary on November 17, 2013

So, every year in anticipation of my birthday, I write a list.

Do a set of fifteen regular pushups. Take my parents to visit family in Puerto Rico. Complete a century bicycle ride. Raise at least $5000 for cancer research. Work with turtles.

It started as a simple dare. Find something to do outside of your job, I told myself in that third year of teaching when my work hours stretched from 6 am until 10 pm, or you will end up celebrating your sixtieth birthday wondering where your life went. But when I sat down to consider what hobby I might take up, so much interested me that I had no idea where to start. I wanted to try it all, and so I invented a system that would let me, at the very least, try most of it. My first list was written in the days leading up to my 25th birthday. Scrawled across the pages of a journal, I listed the 25 things I wanted to do before I turned 26.

Back then, it was mostly a practical venture. I started to run, paid off student loans, saved money, increased my retirement savings. Each year, the list grew a little more daring, balancing the trivial with the important, the safe with the stretches. I learned to paint with watercolors, went kayaking, sang karaoke even though I have no business singing (it was in Brazil and so my hope was that the language barrier covered up my lack of melody. Just to be clear, it didn’t.). I took other risks like submitting my poetry and non-fiction essays to literary magazines and performing in The Vagina Monologues. Each checkmark on the list made me feel more alive.

Indeed, I was living more fully—with both practical challenges and extraordinary experiences informing my growth. Learning to swim made me safer. Learning CPR helped me to keep others safe. Scale a 5.7c peak in rock climbing? Made me reach deep inside for the reservoirs of strength and endurance. When my father was diagnosed with cancer, I channeled my need to do even more than serve as his chemo companion by joining Team in Training and raising close to $10,000 for cancer research. It is not just my athleticism that has changed. I have helped my family, traveled and experienced other cultures, made new friends, engaged in my community, developed artistic skills, invested in issues that are dear to me, become better read.

To be honest, some of my exploits have been at odds with my skills or personality. Parasailing reminded me how scared I was of heights, but I stayed up there the whole time, singing quietly to myself. Competing in a duathlon against some of the area’s finest athletes (when I signed up, I noticed that it said Finest in the title of the event, but I thought they meant well-organized and not really competitive) forced me to get in touch with the reality that I was doing the event to impress myself and not anyone else. And while it would seem that these were failed experiments, I think it is impossible to fail at anything on the list. I have never completed all the tasks on any year’s list, my interior monologue telling me I should have begun the list in my teens so I could have had a chance at a clean sweep. But the fact that the list exists lures me to want to check things off, look it over, and make plans.

I know that I live better and more dramatically because the list exists. At the end of each ‘birth’year, I evaluate the past list. I recall each experience and think about its significance to me. I consider who I have been and who I am becoming, and I decide whether an unmet goal should go on the next year’s list or if its lure is no longer calling me. The list is not just a ritual. It is a formula for how I can make life happen in the midst of deadlines and duties. Regardless of what I come up with for the lists, each year is cloaked in adventure, compassion, self-improvement and satisfaction. It is a gift to myself, a celebration of life, a list that keeps me living out loud.

This year (today), I am turning 40 so here is the newest list so far…

1. Create a vision board.

2. Take my birthday off.

3. Redo the backyard.

4. Read 30 books for pleasure.

5. Read 5 books to support personal/ professional growth.

6. Try 6 new Charlotte restaurants.

7. Replace carpet in master bedroom.

8. Take singing lessons.

9. Take a workshop.

10. Hear an author speak.

11. Find the perfect kitchen rug.

12. Finish Happy’s “office”.

13. Start a 529 account.

14. Tweak personal style.

15. Update Happy’s journal and then write at least one entry per month.

16. Make a family yearbook.

17. Weekly fitness, yoga, or Pilates class for at least 40 weeks.

18. Launch a teleseminar.

19. Do a massive purge/clean out of every room in the house.

20. Set up a little free library.

21. Vacation with girlfriends.

22. Do something (professionally) that scares and pushes me.

23. Do something new with my hair (I am thinking highlights.).

24. Go trampolining.

25. Set aside 30 minutes each week for do/watch/read (These are things I file away to watch/read/do later and time never allows for it).

26. Participate in Books for Soldiers.

27. Upgrade a soldier’s helmet at Operation-Helmet.org.

28. Ride water (surf, kayak, and/or paddle board).

29. Visit Cline’s.

30. Check out Boulevard at SouthEnd.

31. Finish the attic reorganization.

32. Do Thai Yoga.

33. Have a family picnic.

34. Plant a garden (foil the rabbits!).

35. Order Pantone postcards. Send them regularly enough that I run out before my next birthday.

36. Pay for a stranger’s meal.

37 . Make crepes or cinnamon rolls from scratch.

38-40?

Got any suggestions for items #38-40? Do you have a birthday list? What is on your list?

On another note, it is always fun to celebrate with others so I am offering a special to you for my annual visionSPARK workshop. And for those of you who are a distance away, you can participate, too, as visionSPARK is going virtual in 2014.

visionSPARK:: because intention matters

Every new year begins with our vision for it. But dreaming about it isn’t enough. Vision has to be captured, inspiration alighted, and intention set. At visionSPARK, you’ll capture your ideal life’s vision not just in conversation and words but in a tangible, inspirational vision board. You’ll imagine the possibilities in a pre-workshop workbook, gather inspiration, and then create your vision with thoughtful support during the workshop. You’ll leave with an inspirational board to display, a touchstone word to root you and reinforce your commitment during the year, a gentle call to action to guide you and the motivation to manifest the life you imagine.

In person:

January 2 from 6 pm – 9:30 pm, January 3 from 9 am – 12:30 pm, or January 4 from 9 am – 12:30 pm Triple Play Farm in Davidson, North Carolina $50

Virtual:

January 9 from 12 to 2 pm EST ON YOUR PHONE $40

Birthday Special: Enter the word HAPPY as a discount code when registering by 11:59 PM on November 18 and receive the in person workshop for $40 and the virtual one for $35.

Can’t wait to spark our years together!

Posted in Life at Home, The List, Weekly Spark | 8 Responses

The Happy Sheet: Only Love

By Rosie Molinary on November 16, 2013

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Friday Reflections

By Rosie Molinary on November 14, 2013

Friday Reflections is all about reflecting on the week by observing our senses. My hope is that this will be a gentle, easy way to tune into how we are doing and what we are experiencing weekly when journaling in general can feel so daunting.

Now, for this week’s Friday Reflections (with each sense as your inspiration, consider how experiencing it impacted your week).

Here is my sensory round-up for this week:

tasting :: beef stew, lots of salads, sweet potato hash with a homemade soy sauce, garlic honey sauce, an Asian-flavored chicken and wild rice soup, a tropical smoothie (yum!), ginger scallion hummus, cucumber raita, goat cheese spread on gluten-free pumpernickel bread, hot cider, hot chocolate, Clementine Italian Soda

hearing :: incredible drumming from the Japanese traveling drum troupe, Yamato. I so want drummer arms. Really an incredible, fun, inspiring experience. Equally inspiring (in a whole different way), the wisdom of Anne Lamott as I enjoyed seeing her speak in Charlotte about her newest book, writing, and how to be in the world. So much wisdom shared but, for now, these gems: we compare our insides to everyone else’s outsides, write what you’d love to come upon, and the search for meaning, presence, union begins with stopping (to pay attention).

smelling :: lavender essential oils, mandarin body butter, the earthy, husky scents of soup, cinnamon

seeing :: women coming out to support Circle de Luz at our inaugural holiday giving party and having a ball as we visited, tried on Karina Dresses, enjoyed some appetizers and shopped other amazing wares donated by artists, authors, and entrepreneurs. So grateful for this amazing community of women who so generously support Circle de Luz.

feeling :: so, so loved. A dear friend surprised with a mid-week spa run. From a really decadent Swedish massage to a mineral glow body treatment, it was sensationally incredible and the biggest sensation was a feeling of humble, humble gratitude and love. I am incredibly blessed.

wishing/hoping :: for a lovely celebration for my dad this weekend as we raise a plate of cake to celebrate his birthday. He is so, so loved, and I hope he always knows and feels it.

What about you? What were your sensational experiences this week? Please share!

This post was inspired by Teacher Goes Back to School who was inspired by Pink of Perfection’s Five Sense Friday.

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a visionSPARK birthday special for you!

By Rosie Molinary on November 13, 2013

There are two things that I do in celebration of my birthday each year:

1. I write a birthday list.

2. I put together a vision board (or two).

And while it might sound silly, those two things? Totally change the trajectory of my year.

A lot of times, we spend our time in our left brain- making comprehensive plans to achieve our goals. The birthday list is like that a little bit– it basically gives every year a bucket list. And because of it, I have learned how to surf, seen whales in their natural environment, raised more than $10,000 for cancer research, gotten re-certified in CPR (yes, practical things make the list, too, not just lofty or fun things). That birthday list adds pizzazz and intention to my year. I’ve been doing it now for 15 years and I can’t imagine a year without it.

But the vision board is all about my right brain. It’s about using a creative tool to give voice to my visions. As I cut out words and images that resonate with me, as I think very deliberately about what I want in the next year both professionally and personally, as I start giving that vision a face on the front of my foam board, something takes root inside me. I make a visual statement of what kind of life speaks to me and then I get to go about the business of making it happen.

As often as possible, I try not to “work” on my birthday– you know, write articles, grade papers, lesson plan. Ideally, this Monday, I will spend the morning while Happy is at preschool cutting images out for my vision board and then crafting my board. Already, I have been writing my birthday list. Sometimes, my birthday list and vision board share themes. Sometimes they don’t. But always, always, they provide me with vision. When I am done with that vision board, I will place it just above my desk so that when I stare into space, the space I am really staring into is my dreams.

And because it is always fun to celebrate with others, I am offering a special to you for visionSPARK. And for those of you who are a distance away, you can participate, too, as visionSPARK is going virtual in 2014.

visionSPARK:: because intention matters

In person:

January 2 from 6 pm – 9:30 pm, January 3 from 9 am – 12:30 pm, or January 4 from 9 am – 12:30 pm Triple Play Farm in Davidson, North Carolina $50

Virtual:

January 9 from 12 to 2 pm EST ON YOUR PHONE $40

Birthday Special: Enter the word HAPPY as a discount code when registering by 11:59 PM on November 18 and receive the in person workshop for $40 and the virtual one for $35.

Can’t wait to spark our years together!

Posted in Beautiful You, Workshops | Leave a response

10 for 40

By Rosie Molinary on November 12, 2013

I turn forty next week. While this isn’t a big deal to me in general, I am seeing that it has given me a sense of urgency, a desire to get more and more real about what is true for me and living that way every single minute that I can.

I am a firm believer that life keeps handing you the lesson that you need to learn until you learn it. Fail to learn it the first time, and life, the universe, the God of your understanding, however you are most comfortable thinking about it, turns the volume up just a bit—meaning makes the next experience with the lesson a little harder to stomach- so that you might learn it the next time. Ignore the lesson again, and it gets even more uncomfortable. Eventually, the situation is so unpalatable, that you HAVE to get it. Learn the lesson earlier and life is a whole lot easier. Given that sense of urgency, I am capturing these hard-earned lessons of my first forty years so that I might live them intentionally (and not have to relearn them) in my forties.

1. Don’t dull your shine for someone else. I knew someone who was in the doldrums a lot. For the longest time, I tried to help this person see the bright side. But this person had on a very tinted pair of sunglasses. There was no bright side. Then, I tried to commiserate with this person and hoped that in commiseration we could move from “yeah, this stinks” to “I am not going to let this bring me down.” But, this person didn’t want to be understood, and this person certainly didn’t want to buck up. This person wanted to be miserable and wanted you to know how miserable things were. Meanwhile, the whole effort was, go figure, making me miserable. So I decided that I was out. No more ignoring my way of thinking in order to be in community with someone else’s way of thinking because- news flash to me- I don’t have any control of anyone else’s thinking. If someone’s miserable, I’ll offer a line of hope and possibility, but if he or she doesn’t want to reach for it, I am not jumping full on in the muck and sullying my own hope and way of being in the world. And on that note of not controlling what anyone else thinks…

2. What someone else thinks of me is none of my business. Trying to make someone else change their thinking about me is inviting misery for both of us. What someone else thinks of me isn’t my problem, and I am forty now, I really don’t have time to go on such a fool’s errand.   I’d rather spend time on the stuff that I do have control over.

3. Boundaries are the way we love the people in our lives that sometimes make it hard to love them. For the longest time, I thought you just had to take what people gave you. If they imposed upon you with their words or actions, well, you needed to be a good girl and not make it awkward for anyone and just let them. Except then the people who cross boundaries get to rule the world. And that’s been the problem so far, right? Too many people with too few boundaries have benefitted from a societal politeness. Except you don’t have to be impolite to establish a boundary. You just have to be real. So I have been practicing boundaries lately and I plan to carry on. In fact, I think perhaps we have a whole new Keep Calm adage. Keep Calm and Boundary On.

4. Self-care is essential in order to be able to offer any care to others. There was a time in my life where giving until I gave out was the only way that I knew to be in the world. I thought it was my most generous way of being in the world and the way that I wanted to be in the world, more than anything else, was generous. But here is what I learned. Generosity and self-care have to co-exist. There can be no generosity without self-care, actually. Because you can give out. And when you give out, you have nothing that you can give. In essence, it is the tale of the tortoise and the hare. It is not that slow and steady wins the race, it is that care and fueling win the race. Take care of you and you are sustained enough to take care of others.

5. My soul is my gift to the world.   I have more gray hair than I did a year ago.   My forehead is rugged topography. I’ve got rosacea and some fierce allergies that make my face read and bumpy most of the time. My curls are unreliable—brilliant and fun rarely, frizzy and limp mostly. And, yet, none of that matters. My body is this incredible vehicle that I have been given to experience this life and so I have an immense responsibility to take care of it because there is so much that I want to do, so many people I want to love, so many hearts I want to help heal. But my body does not make up my worth. My worth comes from my soul, from what I offer the world; my legacy will be in the way that I love and offer care and never, ever in the way I wear my hair (or that unintentional rhyme). I want to be clear everyday about the fact that what I have to offer is how I make people feel and not how I look.

6. Self-acceptance is a decision to not have an adversarial relationship with myself. I have worked hard to be my own best advocate, my best support, and a positive member of my own team. While some days are harder than others, every single day, I will embrace the idea that I have no business making things harder for myself with cruel thoughts, disempowering words, or sabotaging actions. Being self-accepting doesn’t mean that I believe that I am better than anyone else and it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel that I need to do any growing. What it does mean is that I understand that I have worth simply because I exist and, because I exist, I have something to offer and wasting my time in the muck of self-defeat will not let me live with intent.

7. I am here on purpose. The world is full of so many needs and I don’t believe any one of us is here by accident. We are each here on purpose—meant to offer a unique part of the solution to healing that this world needs. When we can reconcile our relationships with ourselves and engage in what we are most meant to offer the world, the world is one step closer to healing. So, I will live on purpose and I will be gentle with myself if and when my passions change and evolve, understanding that life is asking something else of me and I just have to pay attention to know where and how I am needed.

8. Wholeheartedness matters. There is only so much time left, so I need to go pure. Many women (myself included) have two standards when we are asked to do things. Is the time technically open on my calendar? Do I have the ability to do it? Take for example, the school bake sale. You are walking down the hall of the elementary school and someone corners you and says, “Can you make something for the school bake sale?” You check the date, and it is the one Saturday you have nothing going on in January. And while baking isn’t your thing, you figure you can buy a box of lemon squares at the grocery store and mix the ingredients. The night before the bake sale comes and because it is not your passion and because there are so many chores to be done, you leave the lemon squares to bake, go fold laundry, forget about the squares, they burn and then you are back at the grocery store at 10 pm for another box. Sound like you? Here is what I have learned. There is a continuum of wholeheartedness and if you aren’t thrilled to be asked to do something, thrilled to do the work it takes to be ready for it, thrilled to go to it and do it, and thrilled when you get home, don’t do it. Your no is someone else’s yes. There is someone who is thrilled to help with the bake sale and it is his or her energy that is most needed for it. Your responsibility is to go pure- to get as real as possible about what you want to be saying yes to and say yes to those things while having faith that others will find their things, too, and take care of those things for the universe.

9. First, Do No Harm. It’s so easy to hurt people, but I don’t want to put that kind of energy out in the world. As much as possible, I want to do no harm.

10. The journey is the goal.   We get impatient about where we are going; we will days away in the hopes that what we are looking forward to will just arrive already. How many times have I done that already? If there was ever a continuing theme, it is this. There is only so much time away and if I push for the events, I will miss the moments. Life is composed of moments. I want to notice every one of them.

How about you? What lessons are you actively practicing right now?

Posted in Beautiful You, Food for Thought | 4 Responses

Manifesting…

By Rosie Molinary on November 11, 2013

When I was finishing up grad school, my final advisor approached me.

“I noticed that I never saw you in a publishing workshop,” he said. “Did you go to any?”

I explained that I hadn’t. The publishing workshops had been optional, and I went to graduate school with one intention to be a better teacher. To be the kind of teacher who could help my students use the power of writing to find the voice, embrace their passion, discover their purpose, and move into giving their gifts to the world fueled by powerful self-awareness. I had no desire to publish.

He starred at me as I said all this, a look of incredulity on his face.

“Would you have felt better if you had, at let’s say, 20, read any of this stuff that you just spent the last two years writing? If someone had written these things for you to read?”

“Well, yeah,” I said, confused.

“You have to think of your classroom as more than just four walls. Books can be classrooms. Aren’t you learning all the time from books? I understand that your mission is to teach but I want you to understand that your classroom is not just a physical space that you occupy with your group of students. Classrooms are that but there are all sorts of classrooms in this world and what you write can be a classroom if you would let it.”

I am thinking of this story this week because just like I expanded my sense of where I could be in community after that conversation with my graduate school advisor (and that conversation is the only reason I ever looked into publishing), I am once again expanding my sense of community.

Last month, as I was promoting my Mission::Manifest workshop (where participants write mission statements that claim their passion and purpose and personal manifestos inspired by their own values and ways of being in the world), I was asked by many people to offer this workshop virtually. And those requests made me think again about how when we share space, it doesn’t have to be confined to four walls.

And so I am so excited that those requests inspired me to reconceptionalize Mission:Manifest so that anyone, anywhere can participate and you are invited to join me at the virtual table.

What is Mission::Manifest?

Imagine having a one sentence touchstone to refer to every time you are trying to make the call on whether an opportunity is right for you or not.

Consider the magic of having your rules for being in the world prominently displayed in your home or office, grounding you in your truth, your sense of what’s right, your sense of how to be.

Mission:: Manifest is a journey into your truth that will reveal to you a powerful mission statement and inspiring manifesto so that you can use these two tools everyday to clarify who you are, what you want, and how you wish to be in the world.

It is powerful work– work you’ll start with a inspiring pre-workshop workbook then crystalize into your unique mission and manifesto during our two hour fun, energizing, and powerful tele-seminar on December 10th from 7 to 9 pm EST.

Wondering what is it like to work with me?

Well, I can say that I think it is fun and intense in the best possible way and, hopefully, inspiring, but I am sure you’d much rather hear what others’ have to say. So here you go…

Rosie Molinary lights up a room the moment she enters. Rosie’s contagious enthusiasm for helping each woman live the life she wants inspired our group beyond my expectations. I hired Rosie to speak at to the Charlotte General Electric’s Women’s Network about the tools she developed to help women create their own “Hopeful Year” based on the recommendation of a colleague that had participated in a similar workshop with Rosie at the Charlotte Junior League. Rosie taught us to use information to make changes rather than to be judgmental and self-critical. She taught us how to be more purposeful rather than getting wrapped up in a list of to dos created based on others’ needs. Rosie’s real life examples hit home for all of us. Her casual, down-to-earth style led everyone to be an active participant. Rosie drove us to dig deeper into what we each really want and to examine why we aren’t giving it to ourselves. Then she gave us the tools we need to make changes in our lives and to be proud of ourselves for who we are and what we want to do with our time. Rosie was an inspiration to all of us. Every woman in attendance raved about how inspiring Rosie was and they all left talking about how they are going to make their lives happier. I can not thank Rosie enough for the gifts she imparted on our GE community.

~Lisa Firestone, Wharton MBA/Board of Directors GE Women’s Network Charlotte/Marketing – GE Capital Retail Finance

If I could describe my Passion Purpose Plunge retreat experience in one word, it would be REJUVENATING. Rosie has a great mix of wonderful, whimsical enthusiasm and specific, organized planning. These came together to create a plan for my upcoming year that excites me and challenges me. It’s no longer a clump of vague ideas wrestling with each other, but a set plan that purposefully moves me forward and offers many opportunities for growth and new experiences. It was great to talk about my desires and hopes and have someone listen and forge them into something attainable, someone to remind me that a lot is in my hands – for one, how I face and treat each day. Having Rosie as a mentor is refreshing and life-giving. From the food provided to the exercises of discernment and planning we did, I felt taken care of and listened to. It was great to be able to step back from my assumptions of what society thinks I should do with my life and think about what I actually want to do. No matter where you are or what you’re looking for in life, Rosie will provide a safe space and affirming ways to go forward.

~Claire Asbury

I attended Rosie’s 2012 VisionSPARK workshop with the hopes of setting some clearer work goals for myself. Those hopes were met and far surpassed. Just by spending time with Rosie I felt smarter, more grounded, and more capable. One of her coolest gifts is the ability to listen to women and extract the truth about what they are feeling. I think this has something to do with her amazing insight and incredible vocabulary… Rosie is like a modern day shaman and midwife; she sees your best potential and then helps you deliver it to the world.

~Michelle Icard

Want to claim your mission and pen your manifesto?

Join me on December 10th (7 to 9 pm EST, all you need is a phone!). And because this is my inaugural tele-seminar, I am offering it for just $35 USD. Register now.

I cannot wait to play, explore, dream, and claim with you!

Questions?

Let me know. I would be happy to answer them!

beautiful photo by Jill E. Williams

Posted in Beautiful You, Workshops | Leave a response

A look at 39 things

By Rosie Molinary on November 10, 2013

So, I am a week away from turning 40 and thought it was a perfect time to take a look at this year’s birthday list: 39 things to do before turning 40.

Here’s what’s been done:

Create a personal vision board.

Create a professional vision board.

Take my birthday off.

Try 12 new recipes. Not hard, but a good way to insure dish diversity early on in the year.

Redo Happy’s Bedroom. Happy’s got a big boy room complete with these great masks on the wall and lovely bedding that features these three animals, too.

Get a hot stone massage. Hot stone massage? Totally my nirvana.

Get a facial.

Try 6 new Charlotte restaurants. Such a fun challenge– totally encouraged me to try new places. My three favorite of these new places (and I tried about 8 or 9): Halcyon, Good Food on Montford, and Vivace. Yums all around.

Go sugar free for 10 days.

Start the You Are Special plate tradition.

Paddle board. You might recall that I took a Paddle Board fitness class this summer. Perfect way to end a summer night.

Hear live music. The Indigo Girls and the Charlotte Symphony. Also, Japanese drumming.

Remember birthdays. Sending cards, texts, emails, and gifts makes me happy.

Go to a musical or play. A dear friend is a Charlotte actor and producer and I had the chance to see her this spring in one of her shows.

Hear an author speak. Yes! The lovely, funny, smart, inspiring Anne Lamott. Good stuff.

Take a cooking lesson. With the crazy talented Nikki Moore of Food Love. So delish.

Write a new book proposal. Yep. Sent to the publishers. Fingers, legs, eyes currently crossed.

Raise $1,000 for Circle de Luz through Run Big Dream Big IV. Yes- thanks to so many generous people!

Help recruit at least 60 new m’ijas for the newest Circle de Luz class. Yep– 67 to be exact!

See college roommates. They both came to see me for a weekend. Oh, the laughs.

Do something from Pinterest. 24 books leading up to Christmas. Such a fun activity (made affordable by shopping through Scholastic Book Club).

Eat from a food truck. A breakfast crepe! So delicious!

Here is what is in process and should be done:

Read 30 books for pleasure. ~ 2 books to go and I am reading one and listening to the other.

Finish cleaning out attic. In process and a fair chance that we’ll get very close to done if not done.

Write and mail 39 thank you letters. Writing a couple every day. They give me the happies.

Complete 39 acts of kindness. Also doing a couple every day or every couple days. Also give me the happies.

Here is that is likely not going to get done:

Redo the backyard. The fallen oak tree has left a proverbial hole in our backyard, and I am eager to make the back porch and back yard more user friendly but just not there yet.

Read 10 books to support personal/ professional growth. I’ve started several, but since I only read before bed, I am more inclined to grab the pleasure reading that helps wind my mind down rather than the thoughtful reading that winds my mind up.

Run at least 213 miles. Not a great running year for me (as you might remember, I am a fair weather runner so I really only run from March to October and, at that, 3-4 days a week. This year, thought, I had a sinus infection for about four of those months and often opted for the elliptical trainer over hitting the streets).

Complete 12 works of art. So far, I have 2 works of art done. Maybe I can power through and do a false fatigue exercise– this was an exercise that I would have my Exploring the Creative Process seminar students do where they had to do 50 works of at least 5 by 7 pieces of art in a really short period of time– to prove to themselves that you can push past blocks and times where you think you have no other ideas because so much about being productive creatively is the doing (as Anne Lamott says, the secret to writing is “butt in chair”). So, maybe a false fatigue exercise is in my immediate future?

Replace carpet in master bedroom. This so needs to be done and, yet, financially, it just seems to be the lowest priority.

Take at least 20 yoga classes. While I did a fair amount of yoga on my own (and with Happy) and took some classes, the idea with this one was to get myself to my local YMCA for some classes so that I got more out of our membership and also got to turn off my mind a bit while doing yoga and have someone else be in charge. With just three hours to work each morning, I couldn’t give up the time to a yoga class, it felt like, so it didn’t happen. I’ll try try again on this one.

Take at least 20 Pilates classes. See above.

Take a workshop. Time just got away from me. I often found about cool workshops a day or two before said workshop and my calendar was already booked. Must be more proactive about researching things earlier.

Take Happy on a hike. Weekends got so full so fast during the good weather. Will definitely hit my spring/summer list next year.

Find the perfect kitchen rug. I have really been trying with this one. I have a picture in my head of how this rug is going to look and, so far, I haven’t found it. Will continue my quest.

Finish Happy’s “office”. I’ve got the vision; now it is just a matter of recruiting BF for the manual labor (to build an art cupboard on the wall). Fingers crossed that this will be done by the end of this year.

Stay in bed until 9 am with no interruptions. I have a five year old and, when I travel by myself out of town, I leave as early as possible to get home. So, um, this was a fool’s errand.

Start a 529 account. I hate doing money things. I just need to sit down and do the research on this and make it happen. Before the end of the year, I promise (maybe 🙂 ).

Ponderings:

So 22 things done and 4 more well on their way, bringing me to 26 things done off my list. My joke has always been that I should have started this list in my teens to have a chance of knocking it all out so its a good thing that I am now getting done more things than was my age when I started the annual list. Truth be told, finishing the list has never been my priority. Instead, I am much more interested in living the list. In seeking out these opportunities that make my day to day life a little different, that periodically put me outside of my com fort zone. This list, over the years, has introduced me to some of my favorite things. When I wrote down learn how to surf years ago, for example, I had no idea that I would discover that riding water is my absolute favorite thing to do. When I wrote down raise $10,000 for cancer research almost a decade ago, as my father battled lymphoma, I had no idea that that fundraising would be one of my ways of processing my grief and fear during that time and that I would meet one of my dearest friends ever. The list is an inducement to live out loud for me and sometimes I need the reminder to be a little more daring, to make every day a little less ordinary.

With my birthday just days away, I am already thinking about the newest items for my list. So far, it includes some items that didn’t get done this year (that 529 account, finishing the office, finding a kitchen rug, etc), some items that are repeaters (reading 30 books, hear an author speak, make a vision board, take my birthday off), and some fun new things (take singing lessons, go trampolining, make a family yearbook, do something different with my hair, send a book to a solider, upgrade a soldier’s helmet). Right now, I am 11 items short on my list so lots more brainstorming to do this week.

Do you make a birthday list? What is on your list? Maybe I can borrow ideas from your list (or feel free to give suggestions!).

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The Happy Sheet: Together

By Rosie Molinary on November 9, 2013

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Friday Reflections

By Rosie Molinary on November 7, 2013

Now, for this week’s Friday Reflections (with each sense as your inspiration, consider how experiencing it impacted your week).

Here is my sensory round-up for this week:

tasting :: french toast, various leftover soups for lunch, Taco Soup, goat cheese mac, spicy chicken spring rolls, beets and sorrel, kimchi, chicken and goat cheese quesadillas, tater tots, steamed broccoli, pesto pasta salad, pumpkin bread

hearing :: Really inspiring dreams, hopes, mission statements, and manifestos from the amazing women who took part in the Mission::Manifest workshop this week.

smelling :: cooked onions, candles trying to cover cooked onions, the incredible scent of horse hay breath (I love this smell, it is like puppy breath to me- just on a much bigger critter), baking pumpkin bread.

seeing :: a gaggle of Guinea fowl carrying on. Guineas are just so funny. They have big, big personalities, move in a noisy little scrum and just make me laugh. My grandfather had them when I was growing up– he was a farmer and they eat up fleas and ticks and other insects- and now there are some Triple Play Farm. So fun to watch them move around. Also: glorious sunshine on a Saturday morning as we took a family walk to the Farmer’s Market and enjoyed music from one of Happy’s favorite local musicians, Rusty Knox.

feeling :: contemplative and brainstormy. This is the time of the year where I really start considering what transpired over the course of the last 11 months, what I want more and less of in my life as I think about next year, how ideas might be made manifest and more. I’ve got an idea notebook within reach at all times as I evaluate, dream, plan and create.

wishing/hoping :: for a wonderful last month of body image class. In the last few weeks of class, I start to get panicky about whether or not I have done enough to positively impact my student’s lives. Teaching frenzy ahead.

What about you? What were your sensational experiences this week? Please share!

This post was inspired by Teacher Goes Back to School who was inspired by Pink of Perfection’s Five Sense Friday.

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How do you do Happy’s hair?

By Rosie Molinary on November 5, 2013

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. I have talked a lot about adoption in general here and at Mamiverse and so I thought I’d share a few posts this month about multicultural issues in parenting.

Today, I am answering one of the questions I am asked most frequently.

How do you do Happy’s hair?

Contrary to popular belief, I do not finger curl every single curl on Happy’s head. I don’t curl any hair on Happy’s head. Those exquisite spiral curls are just what Happy’s hair does. That said, curly hair is really delicate (this seems to be on interest to people because everyone wants to touch Happy’s hair) and so we do try to take very good, gentle care of it.

I am answering this question at a funny time because we just recently tweaked Happy’s hair care regiment, and it usually takes a bit for us to decide if it’s just right or not. So, here’s what we are doing right now and I’ll also share what we did for years before Happy’s hair got a little thicker and needed more penetrating products.

Shampoo: We use Shea Moisture Moisture Retention Shampoo. Curly hair thirsts for moisture and so you want to make sure that every thing you put in curly hair is really, really moisturizing. Shea Moisture does the trick for us. That said, we only shampoo Happy’s hair once a week so that over the course of the week, his natural oils have time to travel down the hair shaft (this is commonly recommended for all curly girls and boys). The other nights it gets a really good conditioning treatment that gently cleans the scalp.

Conditioner: We love this new to us Mixed Chicks deep conditioner. We pile it on, let Happy play for a bit for a good conditioning, and then rinse after its had a time to sit.

Of note: until recently, we used the Shea Moisture Conditioner but were finding that we needed even more moisture in Happy’s conditioner of late and so went with this deep conditioner.

Out of the shower, I try to gently dry his hair with a pillow case (much gentler on the curls). Truth be told, BF totally dries his hair with a towel (wince).

Detangle: In the morning, we spray his hair with the Suave detangler and that resets the curls.

Styling Product: We had been using a creme for years that we just loved but Happy’s hair is getting a little too thick for the creme (we used Kinky Curly leave-in conditioner for about 2 years) to be able to permeate down his whole curl so we recently changed to a foam so that it will cover more of the hair. I’d love to have an organic foam for him as the Mixed Chicks and Shea Butter products are organic so I am still on the look out (truth be told, this Paul Mitchell foam was for me and we were in between hair products for Happy and we used this in the interim and saw that it did a better job with coverage than his creme at that point).

Other notes:

1. We never, ever comb Happy’s hair. I don’t think very gently combing it with a wide tooth combed while he’s got some conditioner in would be a problem but Happy is super sensitive and would never ever stand for it so we just don’t.

2. I cut Happy’s hair curl by curl a few times a week. I check his hair a few times a week as needed and trim any curls that are getting a little unfurled at the ends or have become matted.