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Friday Reflections

DSCN5773
Friday Reflections is all about reflecting on the week by observing our senses.  My hope is that this will be a gentle, easy way to tune into how we are doing and what we are experiencing weekly when journaling in general can feel so daunting.

Now, for this week’s Friday Reflections (with each sense as your inspiration, consider how experiencing it impacted your week).

Here is my sensory round-up for this week:

tasting ::  stuffed Portabello mushrooms caps (think walnuts, onions, spinach, blue cheese), Chicken Tetrazini, baked potatoes, roasted asparagus, white bean and kale soup, black eye pea soup, sugar cookies, and pumpkin bread

hearing ::  lots of interesting, challenging questions from Happy like “why do the parents always die in movies” (this after seeing both Frozen and Walking With Dinosaurs).  Well, that’s a doozy, eh?     

smelling :: lots of cleaning supplies as we worked our way room by room for little organizational and cleaning projects over the last week.  Our car was on autopilot to the food pantry, Goodwill, and the local clothing closet!

seeing ::  most of our family over the course of the last week which is always good for the soul.  Love seeing cousins play and grandparents enjoy grandchildren while siblings rib each other and remember past moments.  Also, plenty of movies: Frozen and Walking with Dinosaurs with Happy and Saving Mr. Banks (That one was just me and BF).

feeling :: excited about the new year.  From making my own plans for the new year to being able to witness some inspiring women chart their own courses at three visionSPARKS over this weekend, I definitely have the new year bug.

wishing/hoping ::  to build just the right, powerful foundation for this new year that I am eager to really enjoy.   

What about you?  What were your sensational experiences this week?  Please share!

This post was inspired by Teacher Goes Back to School who was inspired by Pink of Perfection’s Five Sense Friday.

Announcing Spark: practices to nourish this new beginning

Spark Jan 2014

Happy New Year!  I, personally, was eagerly anticipating the new year.  I needed some buttons reset– wanted the promise of turning to blank pages on my calendar and to do notebook and starting to fill them up.  I wanted the opportunity to reflect and to dream.  I wanted the chance to begin again, especially as December started to really take it out of me.

And, so, as I was doing my planning for the new year and thinking about my very favorite New Year’s rituals that get me excited and life rituals that keep me going, I thought it might be fun to share them here daily throughout the month of January.  Many of them I have talked about here before but I am hoping that all together as a daily plan over the course of the month, they will serve as a valuable toolbox of strategies and rituals to get your new year going just as you dream.

Starting Monday, I will be sharing a daily blog post with you until January 31st.  Some days will introduce concrete tools– choosing a word for the year, making a vision board.  Other days will invite you to reflect– a weekly Explore worksheet will guide you in a fast and fun self-discovery exercise and I will invite all of you to actively join me in Friday Reflections by sharing your own reflections from the week.  Sundays will continue to feature inspirational Happy Sheets.  My hope is that our daily attention to this new beginning that 2014 was brought will allow each of us to establish a solid foundation for 2014 that leaves us inspired, prepared, active, and intentional.

Before we get started, do you have any questions, suggestions, or thoughts about Spark?  Share them with me here!

Celebrate the New Year with a New Year Personal Summit

your coming year

It is the last day of 2013 (but likely the first day of 2014 when you read this), and I am taking a little time while B is running errands and Happy is tucked into quiet time to have my own little quiet, contemplative time and imagine all sorts of possibilities for 2014.  Because, let me tell you, 2013, especially the end, wasn’t my favorite (ill fathers, highly sensory times for a little one who struggles with sensations and, thus, plenty of meltdowns to navigate, a gnarly sinus infection, and a scary mammogram situation that turned out to be fine in the end), and I am eager for a reset button and what button is more prominent than the one that lets down that crystal-covered apple in New York City?

So, what exactly am I doing in my quiet, contemplative time?  I am hosting my own personal New Year Summit (this is a great bookend to the End of Year Personal Summit.  Why a personal summit at the New Year?  Because the first step to getting the life we imagine is having clarity about who and how you want to be in the world.  The thing that matters most in our growth is articulating how we want our lives to feel, how we want to feel, really assessing who and how we want to be in the world.  Because when we know that, we can build a life that allows us that feeling and then every day feels like we are living in our true calling.  A New Year Personal Summit is about getting clear about what you want for yourself which may or may not, ultimately, end up having something to do with resolutions or goals.  A New Year Personal Summit gets you quiet at the beginning of each year so you can get clear on what intention you want to have in the new year– what focus, truth you want to guide you actions.

Here are the details of the process in case you want to do the same for yourself.

Step 1.  Figure out what you want to feel in 2014.  

Intention is about having an internal resolve, a desire to move towards something that will serve you better as you move forward.  It is claiming the desire to live your life in a certain way so that things happen on purpose rather than by accident.  After setting an intention, you can claim your vision, and then it is after that vision has been formed that you can begin to move into action.

What feeling do you want to have most regularly in 2014?  What feeling does your life most need right now?

What would feeling like this add to your life?

How would your life change with this feeling?  What would your life look like if you were living with this feeling?

What behaviors are needed to live this feeling?

Get as clear as possible about what feeling you want in your life and what intention you most need to focus on for that to become real.  Then, if the idea speaks to you, you can choose your word for the year- the one word that will be a grounding and inspiration guide to you as you move through the year and embrace your possibilities (I will be blogging about words for the year on Monday, January 6th if you want more perspective on that).

Step 2.  Figure out your yeses and your nos.  

Now, that you have a sense of your intention, it is time to captures your vision for the year and one way to get started with that is by getting clear about your yeses and nos.

How will your life be different at the end of 2014 if you are able to make the concept from step one more present in your life throughout the year?

What do you want or need your life to feel and look like to live that concept/feeling?

What do you need more of in your life to bring this concept and feeling into clarity?  This is your test list– the things you should be doing more often in your daily life.

What do you need less of in your life to realize this feeling?   What are the experiences, interactions, and responsibilities that strip you of what you need?  This is your no list– the things you should stop doing or do less of in order to realize the life that you imagine.

Compile your yes and no lists for a guide to your new year.

 Step 3  Name your priorities.  Design your action plan.   

I have several areas where I would like to devote some intention and attention this year.  And I could try to do them all starting today but then that is a whole lot of action all at once and is more likely to lead me to feeling overwhelmed..  So I like to look at my intentions and the actions they suggest and then prioritize future success in living my intention and vision

If an all-or-nothing approach to resolutions, goals, and/or intentions has been your downfall, loosen your grips on the absolutes. Instead, give yourself a range. Aim to make the choices you wish to make for 80 or 90 percent of the time, for example. Or aim to do one thing at a time– just for this week, I will go to bed at 10:30 and then next week you can add the sixty ounces of water a day and the next week you can add the fifteen minutes of reading daily (or whatever is on your mind).  Then, you have built grace into your experience of life. Knowing you don’t have to be perfect (and you know how I feel about perfect) can often be the impetus you need to move you closer to the life you desire.  Your resolutions, intentions, dreams, desires do not have to look like anyone else’s.

What first step are you ready to take?

What do you need to begin?

What is the scope and reality of taking that step?

When can you begin and how?

What is your next step?

And, as a gentle and motivating reminder, what do you want to be manifested for yourself because of actions you have taken?

~

Excited about really embracing 2014 in a way that makes it more about creating the life you want?  Join me, starting January 6th, for Spark: Practices to Nourish this New Beginning, a daily blog guide that will detail what steps I am taking to live my intention in 2014 and offer you a step, tool, or inspiration daily through January 2014 in case you want to walk the same journey with me (or part of it).  I will be back tomorrow to share more with you about Spark but, in the meantime, I hope you will share what you discovered in your personal summit, what you want out of 2014, and/or what made it to your yes or no lists?

 

Retro: Little Photoshop of Horrors

My little guy is still at home on winter break which means my computer time is close to nil so, today, I am sharing my most viewed blog post of the year.  I’ll be back on Wednesday to kick off the new year with instructions for hosting a new year personal summit!

~

We are in the midst of discussing the media and body image in Body Image class.  While I love every week in Body Image class, this one is especially fun because we spend so much time really examining images that are projected to us in the media that I feel like my students’ eyes really change overnight.  One day, they come into class buying everything they see.  They leave class with a whole new lens and become so adept at spotting media manipulations in just 30 minutes of our playing “Spot the Photoshop.”

During this media class, we also go over some essential lessons.  Such as…

#1.  We are fed unreal images BECAUSE they are unattainable and if we buy-in to the messages, then we must constantly consume to try and get there (never mind that we can’t get there because they are false images, as long as we buy-in, we are on the ride and someone can make money off of us).

#2.  If you are obsessed (with how you look), you are oppressed.

#3.  Before the media will change, we have to change.  The media gives us what we want.  Every single time we reward their messages by buying the product or watching the show, we tell them they are giving us what they want and they keep giving it to us (because we reward them with cash).

#4.  We have to make the conscious commitment to resist the messages we are sent.

#5.  You can vote with your time, dollar, and voice.  Never forget that you have the power to effect change but it takes changing to do that.

Now, for the latest round of Little Photoshop of Horrors.

This CoverGirl ad was banned in the UK because lash inserts and digital enhancing were actually what created those dynamic lashes, not just the mascara.  When that happened, the ad was pulled in the US to avoid the bad buzz.

This CoverGirl ad was banned in the UK because lash inserts and digital enhancing were actually what created those dynamic lashes, not just the mascara. When that happened, the ad was pulled in the US to avoid the bad buzz.

Lighten, brighten, publish.

Lighten, brighten, publish.

Where is the rest of Adam Levine's torso and his leg coming out of his stomach?

Where is the rest of Adam Levine’s torso and is his leg coming out of his stomach?

K Stewart Glamour Cover

Not to totally make this the K. Stew edition, but where’s the rest of her arm?

Kardashian Sears

Body parts, it seems, are terribly inconvenient in advertising. Hence, the Kardashian sisters are missing hands, arms, and legs in this Sears ad. While Khloe is significantly taller than her sisters, you’d never known that after this Gumby treatment. And finally, check out the photoshop black space between Kim and Khloe. I am not sure what is more shocking- the poor photoshopping that is put out in the media or the fact that so many of us have bought into the allusion that we don’t even notice all the clues telling us something isn’t real.

Lady Gaga

Making Gaga into just a shadow of herself.

nicollette-sheridan-ps

By totally redoing faces, we lose perspective on what skin looks like and how we age, creating an unrealistic standard for everyone.

penelope-cruz-ps

Even Penelope Cruz has smile lines. You know, because she smiles sometimes.

Taylor Lautner

Zooey Deschanel

What do you think of this latest round of Little Photoshop of Horrors?  What surprised you?  What are you learning about the images we are fed by the media?

The Happy Sheet: The Magic of New Beginnings

new beginnings

Wishing you…

joy, peace, laughter, and light today and every day.

joy, peace, laughter, and light today and every day.

 

The Weekly Spark: Host an End of Year Personal Summit

personal summit

It’s that time of year where the crush of so many things—holiday parties, gift shopping, wrapping, baking, decorating, merry making, thank you note writing, end of year donating, etc- begins to feel like too much and your chest is tight and your stomach is kinda floppy and now I am about to add one more thing to your list with this week’s Spark.

But this weekly spark, I promise, should be fairly interesting and has the potential to give you some powerful perspective, create for you a blueprint of what works and doesn’t, and allow you to start next year with the most powerful of intentions.  So even if you can’t squeeze this one in THIS WEEK, do squeeze it in before the end of this year.

So now that I have built it up, what exactly is this week’s spark?  Well, it’s an End of Year Personal Summit, a fancy way to say that I want you to sit down and do some reflecting on this past year and how it went.  The joys and challenges it brought you, what you learned, and what you might do with that learning.  The EYPS is all about ending your year intentionally so that you can start the new year on purpose.  Ready to begin?  Here is how to hold your summit of one.

Step 1:  Schedule it and prepare.  Summits don’t happen without some effort.  So schedule some time on your calendar for this one.  30 minutes might work and an hour is more than enough.  Choose a time of day and a day of the week when you are going to be your sharpest, especially given upcoming travel and celebrations.  Also gather what you need.  You might want your calendar from this past year, your vision board, your camera or photo file of photos you took this past year, a journal from this past year (if you keep one), some blank paper and pens.  You could also go further and get some pensive music, a delicious drink, or a candle ready.

Step 2:  Go radio silent.  When the time comes for your summit, turn on the do not disturb feature on your phone, back away from the internet, and hang a literal or figurative Do Not Disturb sign on the door of the space where you are working and on the door of your mind (to warn those superfluous thoughts to go busy themselves for awhile).

Step 3:  Go back.  The first official step in your summit is just surveying the scene, reviewing the past year.  Flip through your photos.  Go through your calendar, to do lists, journals.  Make notes about things that strike you, what makes you smile, what ideas come to you, what you are reminded of from the year, any inspiration you have.

Step 4:  Ask and answer.  Now, it is time to ask yourself some questions.  Enjoy these questions; don’t stress about them or overthink them.  If you are stuck on one, skip it and then come back to it later.  One to a few sentence answers are just fine and your first instinct is great.

Describe yourself at the beginning of 2013.

What are five words that describe your 2013?

Recall 2013. What are three images that pop into your head?  How do those images make you feel in retrospect?

What did you do this year that you had never done before?

What dates/experiences from this year will remain etched in your memory and why?

What was your biggest challenge?

What was your biggest triumph?

What are three to five great things you did in 2013?

What are some important things you stopped doing?

What are some important things you started doing?

Looking back, what was this year’s gift to you?

Describe yourself now.

Step 5: Learn Your Lesson.  So I am a firm believer that life keeps handing you the lesson that you need to learn until you learn it.  Fail to learn the lesson the first time it shows up for you and life will turn up the volume, making things a big more uncomfortable.  Ignore it again?  More discomfort.  On and on until it is just way too uncomfortable not to learn the lesson.  But here’s the thing.  It doesn’t have to be that hard or that uncomfortable. You can learn the lesson earlier and save yourself the later pain and trouble.  It’s just a matter of paying attention.

So what were your most valuable lessons this year that you want to take with you moving forward?  Make a list.    

Step 6:  Store these notes for the new year.  In January, there will be several posts to guide you in completing a New Year Personal Summit to get your new year started with powerful intention.     

Or if you want to set your intentions with me, join me for visionSPARK– virtually or in person!

The Happy Sheet: Beauty

every thing has beauty

Friday Reflections

DSCN5716Friday Reflections is all about reflecting on the week by observing our senses.  My hope is that this will be a gentle, easy way to tune into how we are doing and what we are experiencing weekly when journaling in general can feel so daunting.

Now, for this week’s Friday Reflections (with each sense as your inspiration, consider how experiencing it impacted your week).

Here is my sensory round-up for this week:

tasting ::  turkey tacos, chili, cornbread, buttermilk fried chicken, mashed potatoes, salad and more salad, yogurt with berries and granola, brownies, a chicken salad sandwich, mint chocolate chip cookies, mint chocolate brownies (a childhood favorite that my best friend’s mom still sends me a tin of every year– how awesome is that???), black eye pea soup, chicken in ginger and cinnamon, lime trifle

hearing :: lots of breakdowns from Happy (who, in truth, hasn’t been such a ball of fun right now).  Though we do everything we can to maintain a VERY small world during the holiday season because of Happy’s sensory processing disorder, the madness of the season still sneaks in at preschool and other places and, boy, does it take us all for a ride.  After an epic meltdown (the likes I have never seen before; in fact, I almost started crying during it.) this week, I am hoping we’ve hit the reset button and it’s a little smoother sailing as we move towards the end of the month.

smelling :: mint and more mint as we’re surrounded by favorite flavor of baked goods.

seeing ::  The Circle de Luz Class of 2016 really love a yoga class taught by the amazing Jen Fowler and then really get into dissecting images in a media literacy workshop with me.  These young ladies?  Totally light my fire and warm my heart!

feeling ::  contemplative.  I love reflecting at the end of the year, just distilling in everything and getting really thoughtful about what has passed and what’s to come.  I am eager to get ideas and thoughts down on paper.

wishing/hoping ::  for continued progress for my sweet Papito as he recovers from a late November health set-back.  And a lovely holiday season for all of us.

What about you?  What were your sensational experiences this week?  Please share!

This post was inspired by Teacher Goes Back to School who was inspired by Pink of Perfection’s Five Sense Friday.

Be Particular

shaped by your own choices

The day got away from me and there is baking to do for tomorrow, so I am reposting this little flash of insight from October 2012…

Last week in class, we were talking about the media.  We talked about what it teaches us, what messages it gives off, why we engage, how it affects us.

As we mulled this all over, someone said something along the lines of “we are taught to be pleasing.”  And that’s just it, isn’t it?  We are taught to be pleasing– to please others with how we present ourselves, to please others in our relationships with them, to please, please, please.

I am not sure what my preamble was before I came to this but what I left my students with after that comment was this,

“Yes, we are enticed, instructed, coerced into being pleasing rather than particular.  But the truth is that for a happy life, for a fulfilling life, for a life of meaning, we need to do just the opposite.  We need to be particular rather than pleasing.”

How have you felt the pressure to be pleasing?  How are you exercising particularity?