Diagnosis: Broken Heart

So, I’ve been in a funk all day today.  At first, I thought it was completely weather-induced.  It’s in the 40s here and has been raining all day, a gray depressing sky overhead on the last day of March.  When I was a little girl, I used to get intense stomachaches when it rained.  I’d come home every rainy day with a note from the school nurse saying that I had visited the health room with a stomachache.  I am not sure what it was about rainy days that upset me so much, but, for a year at least, they threw my sunny disposition off.  Now, in general, I don’t mind rainy days although they usually make me nostalgic for the dorm room I had my freshmen and junior year of college.  I was in the same dorm those two years, and the beds were permanently attached to the wall.  I remember that on rainy days I always found the time to get up under the covers to nap and read.  When I went back to the college as a staffer, I would always look out my office window on rainy days and envy the kids who were walking back to their dorms after class because I knew that they were likely going to crawl into their beds.  And on rainy days, I coveted my Richardson bed, my fluffy down comforter, and my stars and planets primary color quilt.  So, I was jonesing for that Richardson dorm bed just a little while ago when I realized that I wasn’t in a funk because of the rain. This was not a throw back to 1st grade; my stomach in knots because of the grayness.  Nope.  The truth is that flash of memory to my Richardson bed did create a searing pain across my whole abdomen, but it also led me to realize what’s wrong.  I am heart broken.  The Davidson basketball boys lost in the final seconds of last night’s Elite Eight game by 2.  3 more points, and they would have been headed to the Final 4.  I don’t know that much about basketball.  I am not a obsessive consumer of it the way I am of other sports.  But I know that those guys deserved that game, and my heart is broken for them today.  It’s silly, really, I know.  I should buck up and move on.  But, sometimes, when you admire what someone or something stands for so much, it’s just hard to adjust to a loss that is both that close and that deep.  I’ll be my smiley effervescent self again soon enough.  But for now, I am licking my wounds and wishing there was a school nurse here to push the hair out of my eyes.