20 responses to “shine day 15: Stop Measuring Your Worth”

  1. Cecile

    Oh, wow! Rosie, your post comes just at the right time to help me by visualizing.

    What I want to give up? The “good-girl” ideal picture. I have to, I WANT TO accept – I ACCEPT!! that I cannot please everybody anytime – even if it is anyway impossible – and not good!
    I thought I went already quite far on this path, but there are still some hills to climb on and leave behind me. More about it in your resilience post in the coming days!

    Your post brought me to find words to express it. Now I can visualize how I shred a photograph of this non-existing ideal everybody’s darling. It feels strange, a new unknown land – OK, so I just won’t react as usually, but so far I don’t know how I will react? I’ll just surprise myself with my resources.

    My reminder: “I have a lot of worth by myself. I don’t need to please anyone now. I am worth being myself.”

  2. Marissa

    1. What did you commit to giving up today and why?

    I commit to giving up my eating disorder and the image of myself as the little girl, the thin girl, the petite and tiny girl. I have kept myself trapped in this body for so long, but my voice and and ideas and ambitions are so much larger.

    2. How did it feel to either literally or figuratively pack away your measure?

    I cannot say this is the first time I have given up this ‘measure’ or that it will be the last, but it feels refreshing to think of the possibilities. It feels freeing, and I feel like I am allowing myself to imagine a future as a true adult. I am an adult. Today is my third wedding anniversary- I have a marriage, a home, two rescue dogs.. I need to respect myself and my future, and if I continue to hang on to that measure of myself as a little girl, I’ll miss out on so much.

    3. How might this change your life? How might it allow you to more definitely live your purpose and give your gifts to the world?

    I will be able to achieve so much more and will have the freedom to experience things I’ve imagined in my mind: road trips, new jobs, physical challenges, and deepening relationships. It will free up so much mental and actual space and time for me to commit myself to doing good in the world.
    Marissa recently posted..A Love Letter

  3. Sara

    I commit to giving up my constant need for my mother’s approval, giving up my daily goal of finally completing that ever-elusive task to make her happy, because I can’t. She can only do that herself.

    Honestly, I feel scared. I feel like 98 out of 100 things I’ve done in my life were to make her happy, so where do I even begin and where does she end? Who am I beyond that impossible goal?

    Living with this perspective will change everything. Everything.
    Sara recently posted..Things I Love Thursday

    1. Cecile

      How much I feel with you Sara! You made the first, most difficult step: you became aware of the situation! Congratulations! Go on one babystep at a time, you are worth it! Take care

  4. Jackie

    I commit to giving up measuring myself by the size of my clothes. As long as I am feeding my body well and exercising it kindly, who am I too say what size clothes “ought” to fit?

    I also commit to stop measuring myself by what other mothers can do. So what if someone else makes having three (or more!) preschoolers seem effortless? That does not me less of a person on the days that my precious two kids are about to drive me out of my mind.

    I’ve put away a lot of clothes recently that didn’t fit that will eventually go to the thrift store. It feels good only having clothes that fit staring me in the face while dressing, but the process of packing away the small things wasn’t fun. But I have so much more important things to do with my life than fight with my body, and I think this is an important step.

    In terms of packing away measuring myself against other moms, wow, this one is not tangible but it’s a journey I’ve been on recently. I remind myself I’m comparing my inside and my worst days to my friends’ outsides at their best. Not a fair comparison. I also am trying to take some time to tune into what *I* want, not my kids, not my hubby… it’s hard to stop doing something without replacing it with something better. So instead of comparing myself, I’m trying to replace that attitude with a practice of tuning into what I want.

  5. Susannah

    1.  What did you commit to giving up today and why?

    I commit to not letting the numbers on the scales influence my day. I have weighed myself every morning for a long time, and I’m not ready to give that up yet, but I am ready to see the numbers for what they are.

    2.  How did it feel to either literally or figuratively pack away your measure?

    It felt good – and tomorrow, I may be a little heavier or lighter, but that shouldn’t matter. I am still me.

    3. How might this change your life?  How might it allow you to more definitely live your purpose and give your gifts to the world?

    If I can stop thinking ‘I am gaining weight, I am getting fat, nobody wants to know me or see me’, then nothing can stop me!

  6. Trish

    1. What did you commit to giving up today and why?

    “Good enough” – almost my entire wardrobe consists of things that are good enough: things bought only because they were on sale or inexpensive, not because they fit well or are flattering. And because I might lose weight some day, or whatever event in the future that I am hanging onto. I am giving up “good enough” because I am more than good enough right now, the way I am, and I want things that I love right now, even if I am sitting in my house by myself working.

    2. How did it feel to either literally or figuratively pack away your measure?

    I went through my entire closet and drawers, and put anything that did not fit well or wasn’t something I loved in a big pile on the bed, then anything that was in good shape went into a large garbage bag to donate to the women’s shelter in town. It was weird at first; I found myself feeling like I should keep things just in case. Except I couldn’t explain what the “just in case” instance would be. After the initial nervousness it felt very liberating. Now when I look in my closet, all I see are things that I like, that actually fit me right now (not later when I lose weight) and it makes me smile every time.

    3. How might this change your life? How might it allow you to more definitely live your purpose and give your gifts to the world?

    I don’t have to constantly hate what I am wearing, or fight with it because it doesn’t fit quite right, and that is really just a reflection of what I feel about myself. So I could move further along the path toward loving who I am now. Because “good enough” means that I am always waiting for the magic time when it all changes and I am suddenly excellent. If I am more than “good enough”, then I could have that much more mental space to do things I love, like my own writing, or working with some other people in town who are interested in starting a group that would work toward making residential renovation/preservation of older houses easier and affordable.

  7. Valerie

    The example you gave of the student who gave up the tape measure hit me square between the eyes. I have measured my daily success with a tape measure for 5 years. The past 6 months, though, I haven’t measured with a tape measure, because I “want to get back to a certain size or weight” before I am willing to measure. I haven’t lost the desire to measure, but I don’t want to measure my imperfections. I need to give up that “feeling” of having to be perfect before I consider myself a success.

    I believe it will be a long time before I successfully give up that need for perfection; I’ve lived with it for many, many years. I have to take small steps, but just thinking about small ways to do that encourages me.

    Taking this step scares me; it makes me cry inside and sometimes outwardly. I honestly don’t know how not striving for perfection in all the areas of my life might even feel or how it might change my life. I might begin to see myself as human, as someone who makes mistakes just like everyone else, who has a normal body, but not perfect by any means. I would like to see myself as someone who does not need to “be fixed”.

  8. emily strickland

    I’ve decided to give up all the pants in my closet that are too small. I’m not going to try them on anymore, knowing before I put them on that they won’t fit, and I’m not going to be mad at myself about it.

    1. Jamie

      Good one! I need to do the same…I have a box of “clothes for Jamie to shrink into”….and I need to give that box to charity! Giving those clothes up is going to be hard because (a)they are so cute and (b) because it feels like I’m giving up “hope” to be thin again. But hanging on to them is not good for me at all!!!!

  9. Chibi Jeebs

    1. What did you commit to giving up today and why?
    I committed to give up the opinions of others as a measure of my worth.

    2. How did it feel to either literally or figuratively pack away your measure?
    It was frightening, yet liberating at the same time.

    3. How might this change your life? How might it allow you to more definitely live your purpose and give your gifts to the world?
    Oh, this will change my life immeasurably! I won’t be consumed by fear and worry that people won’t like me or that they’re judging me! My new motto is “So what? Who cares?”

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge