11 responses to “shine day 14: Gracefully Give and Receive a Compliment”

  1. Marissa

    1. What compliments did you give today? How did it feel to give those compliments? How did people receive them?

    Today while nannying the 9 year old I sit each day, she played me a CD of music she’d recorded over the weekend. She was clearly very excited about the CD, but as she played it, she kept saying how horrible her voice was and how she looked like she could never be a singer. In all honesty, she has a very nice voice, and I told her that I enjoyed listening to her and wanted to hear her whole CD. It felt genuinely good to give this compliment, and particularly poignant because of her age and vulnerability. She seemed shy and a little skeptical, but I think she appreciated it.

    2. Did you receive any compliments today (and don’t worry if you didn’t!)? If so, were you able to graciously accept?

    I have been blogging a lot lately, and I am very proud of my writing but also self-conscious about what I’ve written. I worry it is not polished, not well conceived, etc. A neighbor that writes professionally commented that she had read some posts and thoroughly enjoyed them. I thanked her and felt moved that she’d taken the time to read the blog and seemed to have liked what I’d written.

    3. How are you feeling about yourself right now?

    I feel positive about myself right now despite having a difficult day with my recovery plan. I am committed to making tomorrow a better day and will remind myself of the goodness I can spread and that I can carry inside of me, regardless of my eating disorder.

  2. Susannah

    1.  What compliments did you give today?  How did it feel to give those compliments?  How did people receive them?

    I don’t think I made it to five compliments today, but I told a friend she’d handled a situation with her daughter well, it was one thing she was insecure about and I thought she had done well, and it was nice to tell her, she seemed to like it too. I told my Bikram teacher I enjoyed her class, and she gave me a big smile, which was a reward in itself. Oh, and mr S had been doing a lot of work on the house lately, and I told him it all looked great, and that I really appreciated the amount of care he put into the house, and he was happy with that, and it was nice for me to say it, because I’m not doing a lot towards this work on the house, but it is worth a lot to me, so I liked being able to verbalise that.

    2.  Did you receive any compliments today (and don’t worry if you didn’t!)?  If so, were you able to graciously accept?

    My Bikram teacher complimented me on a couple of my poses, but there wasn’t really time or occasion to accept, as I was sweating and working hard. I did say thank you in my head, and I smiled hard at her once.

    3.  How are you feeling about yourself right now?

    Fine, it was a positive day with all those compliments!

  3. Valerie

    I work as an optech, and people ask for our opinions about how they look in different pairs of glasses all the time. My manager and I try very hard to always be honest about how the glasses look on the individual, because they are spending their hard earned money on those glasses. But, in the process, they always find “the one”…and it is beautiful. Their faces light up, and you know they have found it. And we always compliment them. Always. But it is an honest compliment. I like giving compliments, and try to do so regularly. Sometimes people are surprised by them.

    My husband compliments me on a daily basis, and he means every compliment he gives me. I have a very hard time accepting compliments, because I don’t feel as though I do anything to deserve them. However, I am working on this. There are some times now that when I receive a compliment I am able to accept it, even when I have to bite my tongue and possibly cringe inside.

    Right now I feel okay about myself. But I still find myself basing my feelings about myself on how I look in the mirror…or how I ate…or how I did or did not exercise…my worth has been wrapped up in these things for so long it is hard to see that I have worth outside of this small world.

  4. Cecile

    I struggled for years and years with receiving compliments. As long as I saw no worth in myself, I perceived compliments as a picture from a distorting mirror. As I “knew” myself, my perception of myself “had to” be the right one, and the compliments the distorted ones.
    How wrong I was! It was a shock to discover that I was the distorted mirror, and the compliments I received had much more truth than I would have ever thought!

    Well, I now totally believe in sincere compliment and honest feed-back as a source of growth and self-confidence. I love to pay compliments as well as receive them!

    Yesterday I complimented my daughter on e.g. how well she tidied up diverse areas, and how good these areas were consequently looking. She was obviously very proud of herself and did it again later.
    Sincere compliments are also a big supporting column of the relationship with my husband. At the beginning he was surprised as I thanked him for the tasks he did in our household, as he thought it was “normal”. These tasks are so kind of irrelevant – though they are very important AND a big proof of love from the one doing them. By noticing and thanking/complimenting, we just accept the given love and give love back too.

  5. Faith

    The first part is easy i find that giving compliments is easy so why is it so hard for me to accept them? I always deflect like your example i worry that they will think i am stuck up if i just say thanks! Who really knows what they are thinking and i should work on not caring what they think because it could be anything! I did receive a compliment and honestly i responded very positively what surprises me is that i had to really think hard if anyone had complimented me at the end of the day. How sad is that? I so focus on others that i don’t even allow myself a moment to love the loving comment made to me!

  6. Lovely Links: 8/17/12

    […] Rosie challenges us to give and receive compliments with grace. […]

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge