What do you say?

So, I was reading e-mails this week on a list-serv that I have been on for awhile when one of the women shared that one of her male co-workers- in a desire to critique her- called her legs “jamonsotes” (big hams).  Before I had a chance to write anything back, another woman wrote “ I used to work at A STORE THAT IS PREDOMINANTLY FREQUENTED BY MEN WHO ARE WORKING ON HOME IMPROVEMENT PROJECTS and, once, a guy I worked with said “You’re on point, girl, but you need to work on your thighs.”  I made a mistake that day and didn’t say anything to him about it.  Don’t let anyone talk to you that way.  Ever!”  The first woman wrote back:  “I know, girlie, but what can you say to that? You’re like shocked and hurt in the moment.”  Here’s what I then wrote:  “I am not quite sure what I would say in that situation, but I am thinking it would go something like this, ‘Seriously? You think that is an okay thing to say to someone and that somehow you alone became the decision maker on what’s beautiful on a woman and what’s not? Well, then you don’t want to hear what I think is hot on a guy, because it’ll just destroy you so let’s do each other a favor and keep our opinions to ourselves.’”   But that was written with some serious fire in the belly for defending my friends— I know that if I were in that situation, I would be a little more soft-spoken in defending myself— I’d probably say something along the lines of “Did you mean to be rude?”  Since it is hard to be prepared for these moments, I thought it might be good to open this issue up to discussion.  You can take it in one of two directions:  what would you say in one of the situations above or how have you handled a situation like this in your life (make sure to give us the scenario).   The more ideas we have, the better prepared we can be to respond if and when these moments come up in our lives!       

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3 responses to “What do you say?”

  1. Yvette

    Ur so nice..lol ..

    Well One of my teenage cousins said to me one day that a biy at school told her she had “love handles” (ID KILL 4 THOSE love handles mind u).. I told her that the next time this stupid boy said something like that tell him that Hes an ASS and that if he wanted a chace, ANY chance, with a woman someday he better start looking beyond what his eyes can see.. there was of course some cuss words in there..lol

  2. rosiemolinary

    I think everyone needs a Cousin Yvette in their lives!

  3. fightingwindmills

    It must be different (shocking) coming from a stranger or a coworker. That’s a seriously uncomfortable situation that it is nice to prepare for. I agree with your suggestion, Rosie, of asking, “did you mean to be rude?”.

    My husband’s nicknames for me are potazo, potote, nalgotas, etc. But since he is my husband I just laugh it off.

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