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SPARK Day 9: Develop a morning ritual

Spark Jan 2014

Welcome to SPARK Day 9!  We have been working hard over the last week to establish a solid overall foundation and daily foundation.  Today, we are going to add a layer to that daily foundation.  

When I am at my best in terms of personal self-care, self-satisfaction, and productiveness, there’s one common element that is happening: I am enjoying a daily magic hour.

What’s the magic hour?  The Magic Hour is something I started in 2012.  BF wakes early for his workout (about 5-5:15 am) and, after he comes back in, I go get my work out in (when things go right- which they tend to do when I am making the magic hour happen).  And while I used to sleep until it was closer to the time that he comes back in, sometime in 2012,  I started to wake up when he did and enjoying that quiet time in the house– in our bedroom, all alone.  Sometimes, I work.  Sometimes, I read.  Sometimes, I do yoga or lift weights on my own or with the help of a video.  Sometimes, I do a little bit of all of that.   It doesn’t really matter what I do- it really is about just having an hour of quiet to check in with myself before having to acclimate to the day (and help the rest of my family, especially the littlest one) .  It’s a ritual that I have just loved and that has served me incredibly well but, truth be told, it is a routine that is easy for me to fall out of by staying up too late on a school night or when I feel crushed by work.  So, I haven’t practice my own magic hour since before my 40th birthday in November.

This week, I am getting back to my morning routine.  I’ll wake up and enjoy a few stretches and quiet time, maybe eye ball my to do list, do some strength training and then head out for my work out. I am going to embrace that early morning opportunity to get into my own flow before I help my family’s morning flow.  I want to go back to that powerful early morning self-care time so I can feel that power all day long.  Foundations matter and having a morning ritual that works for you– whether it is spent reading the newspaper and drinking tea or pounding the pavement or writing in a journal or whatever lights your fire— can be the difference between having a day that flows or flounders.

So, today, I want you to think through what your morning ritual should consist of and put the pieces in places so that you can begin with your own magic hour tomorrow morning!

Do you already have a morning ritual?  If so, what does it look like?  If not, what would you like to see be a part of your own morning ritual?

SPARK Day 8: Start a Weekly Review

Spark Jan 2014

I’ve got a host of bad habits.  I stay up too late.  If I oversleep, I bag my workout because I just don’t have the minutes to spare (I tell myself).  I like Coca-Cola and sweets far too much.  The list of my bad habits goes on but why bore you with that when I can share with you my very best habit and encourage you to try it, too.  Presenting SPARK Day 6:  The Weekly Review.

I love the Weekly Review so much that I want confetti to be falling on you right now so that you know that this practice is really, really special and a game changer in terms of bringing balance to your life while diminishing overwhelm.  So close your eyes for a moment.  Imagine confetti.  Get excited.  Now, let’s go make planning magic.

What is a weekly review?   

A Weekly Review is a planning session that gets your organized and ready for the coming week.  It allows you to consider what you accomplished, plan for what needs to be done with what is going on in mind, and strategize for how to incorporate need to dos and want to dos into your life so that every week you are getting as close to possible to the life you want to lead.  Moreover, the weekly review keeps you cued into what is to come so you never feel caught off guard and it keeps the all mighty super girl quest relatively in check.

Why is the weekly review important?  

Because it forces you to look at how you can take the things on your master to do list from ideas to reality.  And since you added your wellness prescription to your master to do lists, the weekly review also makes sure that you are not all work and no play.  This is so important for sustaining yourself over time.

The weekly review makes you see and evaluate the time you really have available and prioritize responsibilities and desires so that you are able to create and do more of what moves you.  It gets you clear.  It keeps you on top of things.  It helps you look long term.  It allows you to trouble shoot before there’s trouble.

You know that old saying, “if you fail to plan then you plan to fail.”  Well, the weekly review is the antidote to that.  It gives you a sense of security and clarity and reassures you that you are not likely to forget anything because there is a built in reminder-system which is a wonderful antidote to anxiety and/or overwhelm.

How does it work?   

Step one.  Regularly Schedule It.  The weekly review needs to happen on a day and at a time that works for you, and it is best if that day and time stay pretty consistent from week to week.  I do my review (for the next week) on Thursday nights, right before bed, typically. Friday afternoons would be my ideal time and that’s when I do during it the summer, but I teach on Friday mornings during the school year and am usually brain-dead/playing Uno or building marble runs with a certain five year old on Friday afternoons so it’s harder for me to get it in. I really LOVE getting my review done for the next week before the weekend even starts because that means that I go into the weekend well aware that the next week is planned for me and that I have scheduled it in a way that isn’t overwhelming and so I can relax over the weekend and not work.

I could see some people wanting to start their week with it (doing it first thing on Monday morning, for example, as a way to center and focus for the week) or even doing it on a Sunday night.  I even have a friend who does hers on Tuesdays and just runs her planning timetable from Wednesday to Tuesday in her mind.  Whatever works for you is great.  Just pick a time and stick to it to build the habit.

Step two.  Decide on your tools.  

A.  A MASTER TO DO LIST  On Thursday, you worked on creating a Master To Do List.  That is one of the tools you will need for your weekly review.  You’ve completed it at this point with both your general master to do list and your wellness prescription.  Moving forward, make sure that you always keep it near you and updated.    

Of note:  if you set annual business or personal goals, seasonal or family goals, write an annual birthday list, etc. make note of those items on your master to do list.  For example, you might have a page in your master to do list that is just for all of your birthday list goals.  You might have another page for your professional goals and another one for your family’s goals.  Doing this allows you to keep these goals closer to mind as you will see them each week during your weekly review and can incorporate them into your regular planning.

B.  CALENDAR  Are you working with some sort of calendar that tracks where you have to be/when?  You need to be.  Whether it is a paper calendar (that would be me; here is the one I use) or a computer or phone calendar, make sure that you are recording all of your appointments, commitments, meetings somewhere.  That’s how we’ll know how much time you actually have available to you so that you can plan realistically rather than make a daily wish list of to dos that actually just makes you feel overwhelmed and defeated before you ever get started.  So, take a few minutes and make sure that your calendar is completely updated with all of your stuff and any familial responsibilities you might have.

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C.  DAILY TO DO LIST  Now, you need a spot where you can plan for what you are going to get done each day.  Some people’s calendars have a space next to each day for to do lists.  You can certainly use the notes feature on your phone or in Evernote.  You can buy a general journal or small notebook and have each page or half page be dedicated to a day.  I happen to use a designated notebook that was created exactly for to dos.  This At a Glance Planning Notebook is one of my favorite tools ever.  I’ve been using it for years- this may be my 4th year with it- and I love it.  I think being able to plan your to dos by day is really helpful for perspective.

If you are using something different than the At a Glance Planning Notebook or a to do list feature connected to your calendar, you will want to date your daily to do list system whether it is electronic or on paper.  This will come in handy in the long run as you will sometimes want to jump ahead for a daily to do list item. For example, you may call your child’s pediatrician’s office to make his annual well visit appointment and when you do, they tell you that they don’t have the appointment book ready yet for those dates and to call back on X day.  When that happens to me (as it does), I go ahead and flip forward to that date in my daily to do list and write “schedule Happy’s well visit.”  That way, I don’t have to worry about that later, it’s already there waiting for me.

Also, in addition to getting your daily to do list organized by dates, also look at how you want to organize it based on to do items.  You will see that the to do item lines in my at a glance workbook are pretty wide.  I am pretty succinct with how I write my to do list items so I make two columns out of that big wide line.  On the left hand side are professional/Circle de Luz tasks. On the right hand side, I write personal to do items (for example, WO is workout, 1 chapter is read one chapter in a book– both of these are off my wellness prescription).

Step 3.  Get started.

A.  REVIEW.  Start by taking a look at what you did last week.  Take moment to relish in what you got done before moving on.   Now, consider if everything got wrapped up in the way you wanted it to be.  Do you have anything that needs to move forward in time for further completion?  If so, jot those things down on your master to do list if they are not already there.

B.  SURVEY THE SCENE.  Now, look at what you have coming up during the week for which you are planning.  For example, do you have a presentation on Thursday and you need to finish the powerpoint and handouts for it?  When can you do that?  I would go ahead and write Finish PP for Thursday on my Monday to do list and Finish Handouts for Thursday on my Tuesday to do list, for example.  Before you look at your master to do list, make sure that everything that you need to do to be ready for this week’s responsibilities are accounted for on your daily to do list.

A caveat:  make sure that you are paying attention to how much open time you have in that day to do items that take a lot of time.  If your day is mostly open, you can add more things to your to do list.  If it is pretty packed, you only want a couple items on your to do list.  The idea with your daily to do list is that you are planning for what you can really get done and NOT a wish list.  Wish lists exhaust and defeat us.  Realistic lists are far more empowering.

C.  PREVIEW.  Now, that you have identified all the to dos necessary for what is on the books this week,  look two weeks out.  In order to be prepared for the Monday that is a week out, what has to get done this week?  Apply all of that to your to do list, spreading it out and keeping in mind how much time you really have available this week. For example, I do things that take the most time on the days where I have the most time.  I put things that I can do pretty quickly on the days where I have more things scheduled.

D.  ADD (if you can).  Now, that you have handled everything that is time sensitive, you can look at your master to do list.  But first, look at each day of this week’s calendar and to do list and see how much time you might still have available to you (knowing in your head how long things take you).  If it feels like everything you have already planned will take all the time you have, then don’t worry about your master to do list this week.  It’ll be waiting for you next week.  But, if it feels like you have some time to tackle some master to do list items, go through the master to do list and add appropriately (keeping time in perspective– both when it needs to get done and how long it takes to get done).

E.  ENHANCE  Now that you have your general to dos covered, go look at the good for you stuff and your goals.  How is your wellness prescription going to show up on your daily to do lists.  Maybe you see massage and think oh, I am going to call and get one scheduled on Tuesday and so you write Schedule Massage on Tuesday.  Make sure that self-care shows up in some way on each day’s to do list, that’s a powerful way to make sure that you don’t look up a month down the road and realize that you have completely been neglecting yourself.

F.  BEGIN  When you are done, eyeball the next day’s to do list and feel free to go ahead and prep anything you might need.  In the morning, .always do the thing that absolutely has to be done that day first or- if nothing is that time sensitive- do the thing that you least want to do first.  Flexible, easier things come later as your energy might wane or new things pop up via email or phone calls and you have to put some things that were originally on your list off.

G.  LET GO.  At the end of day, you will likely find that 100% of your list didn’t get done.  That’s okay.  You are learning how much to plan for, how long certain things take you, and living life.  It’s not a big deal if something doesn’t get done (I bet that 60% of the time I do not finish 100% of my list because I am terribly optimistic but I do always get what needs to get done done).  Your last task of each day is to look at what didn’t get done and determine if you are going to add it to the next day’s list or just let it revert to the master to do list and reincorporate during some future weekly review.  Either is fine.  The only rule is no judgment.

F.  TWEAK AND TRUST.  You’ve got a plan in place that as you practice it will give you great calm that you aren’t forgetting anything and that you aren’t over promising (even if it is just too yourself).  I love the feeling that most of my days are really accomplishable because I’ve planned with my reality in mind and that if I don’t get something done, it’s not urgent because of how I prioritize when I start my day.  That gives me both a sense of calm and clarity in a world that sometimes has neither.

How do you organize yourself?  How do you plan your weeks?  What advice do you have for others?  Can you see The Weekly Review working for you?  What challenges could you use help in figuring out?

Spark Day 7: The Happy Sheet

wide world

SPARK Day 6: Write a wellness prescription

Spark Jan 2014

Welcome to SPARK Day 6!  

But before we hop into today’s exercise, I have a quick “program” announcement.  On Thursday, I shared that today’s post would be about doing a weekly review.  I’ve moved that post to Monday so that we could do the wellness prescription beforehand and make sure that all of your self-care strategies are incorporated into your weekly review.  Now, back to day 6 goodness.  

There are three exercises that I do at the start of every year.  First, I determine a word for the year.  Then I make a vision board.  And, finally, I write a wellness prescription.

But before we go forward with our wellness prescription writing, allow me to go back.

Like many women and young people in general, I didn’t grow up learning much about self-care.  What I did know how to do was everything.  All the time.  I knew how to give and give and give.  And that when I gave out, I should give from the ground that I was lying on.  That’s what I thought it took to be a good girl.  And I wanted nothing more than to be good.  I bet you have felt this way, too.       

And, then, my body fell apart in a most dramatic fashion when I was a high school teacher. Though it took me a while to admit that my behaviors had anything to do with my sickliness, I eventually put together my very first wellness plan with the help of a nutritionist, some books, a journal, and some creative problem solving.  Once I started taking care of myself, I felt remarkably better (go figure) and, suddenly, I understood a whole new truth:  choice- choosing your behaviors to best respond to what your body and soul need- is medicine.  Food can be medicine.  Movement can be medicine.  Taking on challenges in moderation can be medicine.  Living a deliberate life is, in fact, medicine.

Everything changed.

For the longest time, I thought that my health, my wellness, my sense of wellbeing, it just happened to me.  Except then I learned that it doesn’t.  As it turns out, I happen to it.

I happen to it by understanding that I can choose to infuse my life with a deliberate embrace of intentional health, of making my body as whole as it can be, of giving my body and mind and soul what it needs so it can move me through life in harmony with the way that I most want to be.  I do this not by coincidence or happenstance or luck. I do this by listening to my body, observing what it loves and doesn’t, respecting what it can and cannot do, and then working deliberately to provide it with the good stuff and ridding it of the bad stuff.  I do this by following a personal wellness plan/ prescription.

Over the years, I’ve had different wellness plans.  I’ve needed different plans.  Life changes (you find a partner, you move across the country or world, a baby or child comes into your life, you replace your bike with a car or your car with a bike, you lose a partner, a parent, your way).  Your body changes (you have a short term illness, a long term illness, you break an arm, you gain muscle).  Your needs change (you require more sleep, less sleep, greater energy, less stress).  The wellness plan I had in my mid-20s isn’t practical for me now in my early 40s.  Sometimes, your wellness plan needs to even change by the seasons.  Moreover, my wellness plan won’t work for my sister or my best friend, because it is not personalized for them, their experiences and needs, their bodies’ little quirks.  When we want intentional health we have to do the work of defining it and deciding to embrace it for ourselves (although, yes, there are some general touchstones that we all might want to factor into our plans).

And so at the beginning of each year, as part of my effort to be intentional,I revisit my wellness plan.  Today, I want to encourage you to do the same.

Step #1  Name your core beliefs in terms of wellness.

For me, loving myself is about taking good care of my whole self- my body, mind, and soul- so that all of me might enjoy the work that I choose to do and that I am capable of doing it with less strain, stress, anxiety and more enjoyment, awareness, passion.

Caring for my body isn’t about punishing it. It is not about beating it into submission so that it might obtain a particular shape.  It’s about listening to my body, giving it what it says it needs and maybe a little dash of what I know might be good for it even if it doesn’t particularly want it (my body does not want bananas, I tell you, and, yet, sometimes a banana’s potassium is really what it most needs.  When I crave a banana, I know something’s up and I have one or six.).  With my wellness plan, I am not trying to achieve a certain weight or look.  I’m trying to achieve a feeling of optimism and optimal wellness for who I am and where I am now.

Sometimes, when I speak around the country, I am asked if I’m not really (by encouraging people to get off the beauty standards bus once and for all) just promoting poor health.  Let me say this emphatically.  Loving your body is not the same thing as letting your body go.  Loving your body is not giving yourself a free pass to live without care or awareness.  Loving your body means you actually listen to your body, respond to your body’s needs, caring about it enough to make choices that support it.  It takes practice and paying attention to learn what your body needs but it is practice and attention that is well worth the effort.

So take a minute and get real about what wellness means to you.  Let yourself off the hook of someone else’s standards and really embrace doing what is good for you because it sustains your soul.

Step # 2  Name what you need.

Think about what you need to be physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually and relationally (is that a word?  I am referring to having healthy relationships with my not quite right word here).

Make a list of everything you need.

Step # 3  Craft that into a wellness prescription.

If you could prescribe behaviors and actions to yourself based on what you most need, what would they be?  Make that list.

Here is a peek at mine:

  • Eat a wide variety of fresh fruits and vegetables daily.  Have fruits or vegetables with every meal.
  • Minimize processed foods in my diet.
  • Cook thoughtful meals at home for me and my family because it is nurturing, contemplative, pleasurable, creative, meditative, and delicious!
  • Practice a good stretchy yoga with a focus on flexibility.
  • Move my body daily- sometimes for contemplative, joint loosening movement and for cardio-endurance at least four times a week.
  • Strength train three days a week.
  • See my physician for an annual visit that includes labwork so I know how I am doing in terms of blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, etc.  Based on what I learn after talking to my doc (and getting any lab results), I adjust my behaviors to support obtaining my optimal health.  Related:  have an annual mammogram.
  • Read every day with a goal of finishing at least one chapter .
  • Take the opportunity to reflect through time with myself, journaling, and conversations with friends and family.
  • Drink at least 60 ounces of water.
  • Schedule a massage as necessary to work through neck, hip, and shoulder tightness and to encourage stress reduction.
  • Schedule time with friends.  My friendships are dear, and spending time with my friends leaves me with such a sense of wellbeing—an essential in any wellness plan.  A bonus is that my conversations with friends often yield some of my finest aha moments.
  • Sleep at least 7 hours per night, and ideally more.
  • Express love.
  • Choose my life. While I can’t control every situation, there are things I do get to choose.  There is a life I do get to call dibs on.  I work very deliberately to design the life of my imagining and not an accidental life.
  • Schedule additional self-care like an appointment and not an afterthought.

Step #4  Work your wellness prescription into your life.

Start to work your wellness prescription into your daily life.  Copy it onto your master to do list in preparation for our work on Monday with the Weekly Review!

Can you see this tool working for you?  What needs to be on your wellness prescription?  What does taking care of you look like?

Spark Day 5: Reflect with Friday Reflections

Spark Jan 2014
Welcome to Spark Day 5!  Every Friday, I reflect on the week that has just passed by doing a little senses exercise.  This practice is a gentle, easy way to tune into how we are doing, what we are experiencing, and what we are grateful for while more acutely tuning into our senses.  It’s a whole heart exercise with plenty of bodily input, if you will.  Because this practice has been so good for me, I want to encourage you to do it, too.  Building some gentle reflection into our weeks is a nice way to stay grounded while maintaining some big picture perspective.  So please join me in this week’s Friday Reflections (with each sense as your inspiration, consider how experiencing it impacted your week).
Here is my sensory round-up for this week:

tasting ::  crab cakes, a baked potatoes, bacon-wrapped chicken with cream cheese, every variety of rice, edamame, sushi, chocolate chip quinoa trail mix balls, apple slices, guacamole and corn chips, garlic chicken, steamed broccoli

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hearing ::  amazing women share their inspiring stories and ideas during visionSPARK.  And laughter– so much laughter– as well as heart-felt tears.  What a gift it was to be with such authentic, honest women!  Also: marbles clamoring down Happy’s new, very popular marble run.

smelling :: candles of every scent.   I love candles in the winter and we have an Eggnog Latte and a delicious lime one alternating in our kitchen and dining room.

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seeing ::  beautiful horses basking in the cold weather, funny guinea fowl frenetically making their way across the farm, light bulb moments, nods of recognition, and kindred spirits, a cute little boy dancing about receiving (and then wearing) new pajamas, and an earnest, hungry dog staring me down for more treats.

feeling :: hugs of every ilk as Happy and I played one of our favorite games until exhaustion over and over again this week.  Is this too much love?  Wait, wait, is this too much love?  Is THIS too much love?  With every question being accompanied by hugs of varied strengths.  Never gets old and the perfect antidote to a cranky pants moment (for both of us).

wishing/hoping ::  for a lovely new semester with my newest students (we start today!)

What about you?  What were your sensational experiences this week?  Please share!

This post was inspired by Teacher Goes Back to School who was inspired by Pink of Perfection’s Five Sense Friday.

SPARK Day 4: Create a Master To Do List

Spark Jan 2014Welcome to SPARK Day 4!  

One of my absolute best practices is how I manage my have to dos and want to dos.  It has taken me years to fine tune this process, but putting that time in to really get the details and balance right has served me incredibly well.  Over the course of SPARK, I want to break down these steps for you so that you can feel in control of your new year and not overwhelmed by the life you have and the life you are trying to create.  Today’s task?  Creating a Master To Do List.

But, first, why a Master To Do List?  

I have always been a to do list girl.  When I was young, it was because I was so overcommitted that the only way I was going to remember all the pieces was to write them all down.  So glad I started with that habit when I was young as it has served me well as an adult.  But, now, more than having many things to do, I have a much more sieve-like memory.  Having a master to do list allows me a powerful sense of relief.  When something comes up that doesn’t need to be done immediately and, thus, doesn’t need to go on my daily to do list (more on that on Saturday), I can open up my Master To Do List and put it there.  Because I check my Master To Do List once a week (more on this on Saturday, too), I get a chance to eyeball everything to make sure I am doing things in a timely manner.  In the meantime, nothing is forgotten.  For example, just this morning, I communicated with a dear friend about arranging to have meals delivered to her house once she and her husband become new parents. But here’s the thing, they are weeks away from becoming new parents and while the announcement of the new addition would likely trigger my memory, just in case I am busy at the time and it doesn’t registered, I’ve put Coordinate meals for X and Y on my master to do list.  I’ll see it weekly in the coming weeks and that will trigger me to do it when the time comes.

How to Make a Master To Do List

Hopefully, I’ve sold you on the premise of a Master To Do List.  If I haven’t, make one anyway and do the whole Spark process (especially Saturday’s Spark) to see if it changes your mind.  If it doesn’t, no harm no foul.  If it does, awesome.

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Step 1.  Find your form.  

I’ve kept a master to do list for years and what I use has changed over time (and sometimes I revert back, too).  I started with a yellow legal pad and just scrawled TO DO LIST on the front page.  I probably worked with a yellow pad for five years easy (I use legal pads for a lot).  But when I was reordering my handy dandy daily to do list for this year (I’ll share what I use for that on Saturday), I also ordered a spiral notebook (the bottom notebook featured here) to try for my master to do list.  So far, I am liking it more than the yellow legal pad because the cover protects the to do pages a bit more.

While I like having an 8 by 11 size medium for my to do lists, it certainly isn’t necessary  You can also go with a little notebook (like the one picture here).  The upside on the smaller notebook is that it easily fits in most bags, including a purse.  The downside is that depending  on the type of notebook it is, the pages may not be easily removable which is an important part of my particular process– although that may not matter to you (to see what I mean, see Step 4).

You might even prefer an electronic means for your master to do list instead of paper form (disclaimer: I am all paper for my organizing systems from to do lists to calendars.  First of all, I am my generation’s surviving dinosaur and I will almost always choose old school vs. technology when given the option.  Second of all, writing something down really imprints it more me (whatever I type almost instantly evaporates from my mind).  By writing to dos down and keeping my calendar on paper, I keep a lot more of that information accessible in my brain than I would if I typed it onto an electronic to do list of calendar).  If you want to use an electronic device for your master to do list, try the notes feature on your smartphone or an application like Evernote.  And if you are more tech savvy then I am, feel free to share other options for tracking to dos).

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Step 2.  Get it all down.    

Now, that you have decided where your master to do list is going to live, it is time to create it.  I actually separate my to do lists into three categories.  Professional, Circle de Luz, and Personal as those are the three big responsibility areas in my life.  Keeping the lists separate gives me an easy way to eyeball how I am coming along in an area and helps me find something when I am looking.  If I know something is related to Circle de Luz on my to do list, I can just switch tot hat page of my to do list folder and search 2 pages rather than 6 pages of everything run on together.

The way I start is by labeling the top of the page with which category it is and then brain dump every to do item I have line by line.  I give each section two to three pages.  So, for example, when I started in this new to do list notebook, pages 1, 2, 3 in it were labeled Professional, pages 4 , 5, and 6 were labeled Circle de Luz, and pages 7 and 8 were labeled Personal.

Keep going until you have every to do you can think of–even if you don’t need to do it for months– down.  The idea here is for it to be a catch all so that you never have to worry about  forgetting.  So take the time right now, and really master that master list.

Step 3.  Incorporate it into your life.  

The very first step to incorporating the master to do list into your life is to take it with you to every meeting that you can.  When I am in a meeting, I have the to do notebook right next to my legal pad where I am taking notes and either during the meeting or immediately afterwards, I transcribe any new action items for me onto the list.

Then, keep going.  Every time something strikes you, right it down where it belongs in the to do list notebook.  As you build this practice, you will feel so relieved that it all lives in the same place.

You also need to come up with a strategy for updating your paper list when you haven’t carried it with you.  For example, you go to lunch with a girlfriend and you all decide that you want to go see Justin Timberlake when he comes to town.  You volunteer to email the whole crew about it and to buy the tickets when they become available.  The show, however, is nine months away and tickets haven’t gone on sale yet.  Since you were just headed to a casual lunch, you didn’t pack your to do list.  Figure out what works best for you for surprise to dos– it might be sending yourself an email right then on your smart phone or putting something in the notes section of your phone or using Evernote.  I typically have a small catch all notebook in my purse that I pull out and jot things down on and then transcribe once I am home.

Step 4.  Refresh

Once a week, I review my master to do list (more on this on Saturday).  When something has been completed, I highlight it to indicate that it has been done.  The different color highlighters above don’t indicate anything other than what color pen I grabbed to highlight.  THe reason why I don’t put a line through a completed item is because the item may have a detail that I need to access later (Like a phone number or email address) and if I put a line through it, it wouldn’t be as legible.  The highlighter lets me know what I don’t have to look at but also still allows me to read what was written, if necessary.

Every few months, when the pages are more highlighted than note, I completely pull out the pages and then rewrite the list on fresh pages.  This is why a journal type notebook doesn’t work for me– the pages aren’t removable- and why this business notebook with its perforated paper or a legal pad are ideal for me.

On Saturday, I’ll be back to walk you through the weekly review process which is where the master to do list process really comes in handy.  And next week, we’ll add some other items (like self-care) to the master to do list.

In the meantime, can you see a master to do list being helpful to you?  What system would you use for recording it?  How have you been keeping track of to dos until now?

 

 

 

 

SPARK Day 3: Explore

Spark Jan 2014

The cornerstone to an intentional life is really knowing who you are and what you want to offer the world and understanding how to get there.  Sometimes, we think by the basis of our age that we should know everything there is to know about ourselves, but we are constantly changing and, if we are busy, it could be that we aren’t getting quiet enough to discover the newest truths about ourselves and embrace what they mean for our lives.

Every Wednesday during SPARK, I will be posing a series of questions (usually around 10, some open-ended and some sentence stems where you just finish the sentence) for you to complete, all with the goal of enhancing your self-awareness so that you can proactively and powerfully live with intention and infuse your life with the feelings and experiences you most wish to have.

As Mary Anne Radmacher says, writing is the process one follows to learn what is already known deep within.  So, grab a notebook and pen or your favorite writing app/program on your phone, tablet, or computer, a little something to drink, and answer these questions honestly and completely.  Your answers can bring delight, insight, inspiration and more…

What is your hope or intention for 2014?

What is your overall vision for your life?  What do you hope to see for yourself at the end of this year?  Five years from now?  Twenty years from now?

What are your greatest concerns right now?  Why do these concerns exist?  What can you do about them?

What are three to five words you would use to describe yourself?

What motivates you?

I am inspired by…

I most need…

I am getting better at…

My gift is…

What I love about my life is… 

What did you discover in answering these questions?   Share at least one of your answers here so we can cheer for and support you!

 

SPARK Day 2: Create a Vision Board

visionspark2014
Welcome to Spark Day 2!  Yesterday, we focused on selecting a Word for the Year.  If a word for the year is all about intention, then vision boards are all about capturing vision.
So often, our approach to goal setting is very task oriented.  Creating a vision board allows us to be a little more creative in our goal setting, allowing our conscious and sub-consious to speak to us about how we wish to be in the world and the way we want our lives to look, what we want to see manifested in it.
My first ever vision board was actually a vision wall.  My sweet parents let me transform one wall of my bedroom into a giant collage.  It took me the four years of high school to cover it, but every day that wall served as an important reminder of who and how I wanted to be in the world.  It was my constant touchstone, my always present inspiration.  That board made me think anything was possible.  It gave me hope and expectation.

While my current vision boards take up less real estate, they are just as epic for me.  Every year, I sit down and piece together words and images that capture how I want the new year to go, what I want to focus on, and how I want to be.

In my first year of parenting, the board featured images of joyful and active women.  It had words on it like eat well, your time, make life more colorful, finding your voice, raise a great kid, soul, and happiness.  In that year, I wanted to focus on family, on being happy even in the hard places, on living a simple, delicious life.  That board perfectly captured my intentions.

My 2011 board featured images of a little boy reading, a deck chair facing an ocean, art supplies carefully laid out, a woman reading under a tree, a seedling, a woman bent over a desk, creating.  Words and phrases like energize your life, find your motivation, passion, take flight, live healthy, new beginnings, breathing space fill the rest of the board.  What I wanted from that year was mission-centered living both professionally and personally and more time to just be who I was.  I accomplished the mission-centered living that year but found that I failed at creating a time margin in my life.  Both those truths were part of the inspiration for my 2012 board.

My 2012 board was actually done in two parts.  On one side of my black foam board is my personal vision.  Images of a woman running, a woman and child gardening, a woman sitting on a dock, her face upturned to the sun, women stand up paddling, and a woman doing yoga are interspersed between words and phrases like thinking outside the box, clarity and simplicity, be spontaneous, self-awareness, play to your strength, natural beauty, and cozy retreat.  What I wanted in my personal life was simple, wholehearted, healthy living.  That woman sitting on the dock with her face turned towards the sun?  That image was the perfect visual metaphor to show how I wanted to feel in my life.  On my professional vision board were the words inspire creativity, celebrating women, everyone has a calling, on a mission, life lessons, and reflect among images of blue skies, green fields, and balloons aloft.  My professional goal was to make the self-awareness, self-acceptance journey I offer in books and collegiate classes available to all women through in-person workshops and retreats.  I wanted my professional vision board to capture that dream.

Again in 2013, I completed two boards- a professional one and a personal one.  My professional board featured words like So You Want to Change the World, A Beautiful Difference, When You Plant a Seed, You Grow A Movement, Something Beautiful is about to Happen, Reinvent Yourself, Shine On.  These are references to my professional mission of empowering women to embrace their authentic selves, find their passion and purpose, and give their gifts to the world.  The images reflect some of the tools of the trade– horses and art supplies- and the feelings I hope my work evokes in others.  My personal vision board featured words like Before You Take on the Morning, Take Care of You, Find Your Strong, Where the Living Is Easy, Soul, Dwell which referenced my desire to not let my self-care go when things got hectic, my desire to make life as easy as possible by creating space and balance, pleasant space and happy times.  The images really spoke to the feelings I most wanted to have in my life and some of the things I wanted to do like paddle board, yoga, run, and spend time with friends.  Mostly, the board gave me a feeling. A feeling of clarity and space and what was true for me.  Perfect.

When I am done with my vision board, I feel both a sense of satisfaction for capturing something so big- a vision- tangibly.  And I also feel a sense of incredible promise and possibility.  That feeling comes back every time my eyes flit over the boards while I am working in my little nook of an office, and then it expands, encouraging me to get closer to it with ever sighting.  When you surround yourself with personal inspiration, your life more and more takes that shape because you are paying attention, and attention is a powerful thing.

Spark Jan 2014

Today, I want you to make your own vision board.  Is a vision board new to you?  If so, follow these steps.

1. Start with a diverse array of magazines (friends and family give me their back copies).  Go through and pull words and images that resonate with you.  Don’t over think it.  Just gather everything that speaks to you.
2. Gather your supplies.  You need scissors and double-stick tape or glue.  You will also want a poster board or foam board.  I prefer foam boards for their size and shape and they are easy to rest on windowsills or the top of door frames but poster board is much easier to hang on walls so you might want to consider where you’ll display it to get the right board.
3. Lay all of your words and images out before you and look for duplicated messages, images, and synchronicity.  Hone in on the words and images that most resonate with you and then create your vision board.  And don’t worry if an image totally resonates with you but you don’t know why.  If it really speaks to you, put it on your board.
4. Display your vision board in a location where it will regularly catch your eye so that it can serve as a gentle reminder of what you want for yourself this year.  Enjoy!
Have you ever made a vision board?  Did it inspire you?  Can you see yourself making a vision board this year?  How might it be a good tool for you?
Want to share your finished product?  Please post it on my Facebook page!  

SPARK Day 1: Choose a word for 2014

Spark Jan 2014

Happy New Year and welcome to SPARK!  What is SPARK?  For the long version, read this post.  The short version is that I will spend the month of January offering practices and exercises here that are meant to help each of us establish a thoughtful, beneficial foundation for the new year.  So welcome to Spark!  Let’s get started…

If you are like me, you awoke on January 1st with a feeling of possibility.  A whole new year awaits us.  Anything could happen.  And while the year ahead will have surprises for us that we never could have imagined, it is also very malleable and eager for us to fashion it into what we want from it.

Because I have seen in my life that intention makes all the difference, I like to start every year with a few rituals and today I am excited to share one of them with you (I will be sharing more of them throughout Spark).

In our culture, the approach to the new year that we are most often taught is to make a list of things to do.  And you all know me.  You know that I LOVE a list.  I can boss a list like no one’s business.  But I was the boss of just lists for a long time and what I found out about living that way was that it just meant that I worked my tail off and that the result of that was often an exhausted feeling of inadequacy that wasn’t healthy for my soul.  And I desperately wanted to create a life where my soul was healthy and I was offering really meaning to the world around me.

What I was doing for a long time was exactly what I was taught to do.  If you do all these things, we are told, then you can be seen as X and if you are seen as X, then you can finally be Y.  For example, we tell people that if they study and work hard, they can have crazy, successful careers and once you have crazy, successful careers, you can earn a lot of money and once you earn a lot of money, you are worthy.  We are taught that achievements make us worthy (money, advanced degrees, losing weight, etc.).  But that’s not true.  We are worthy simply because we exist.

So, years ago, I decided that I had to rewrite the script.

I was 23 years old and a first year teacher, and I was trying to do everything really well because everything felt so urgent.  There was one student’s alcoholism, another’s addiction.  There was the fact that all of my students had to pass an end of course test in order to become seniors (I was an important step between them and their high school graduation).  There was the fact that one of my soccer players was flirting with an eating disorder, and another loathed herself and everyone else.  There was my frustration with various leaders in my school and in the school system because they didn’t seem to grasp reality.  Every day, I felt like I had whiplash from running from one fire to another.  Meanwhile, drug dealers were catching lockers on fire to distract from their dealings.  I couldn’t figure out where to focus, because, damn it, there was so much to focus on.  And so I got quiet and told myself I had to find a way to focus my energy.  I had no language for what I was doing yet.  I just knew that I needed to ground myself.  And in the quiet that surrounded me, one simple word bubbled up.

Voice.

I wanted to use my voice to instigate my students to find their own so that they could be more safe and autonomous in the slippery worlds they found themselves in.  I wanted to ground them in themselves and helping them find their voice gave me a mission. Moreover, it gave me clarity about using my own voice.  I need to encourage their voices, yes, but I also wanted to use my voice in ways where I could have a positive impact.  For a girl who had been a consummate pleaser until then, finding my voice would prove to be a game changer for me (a couple years later,  I would be so certain that voice made all the difference that I would leave my classroom and head off to get an MFA in Creative Writing and giving voice would become a root part of my mission; growing beyond just word of the year inspiration).

When I saw what a difference having a word to ground my teaching career in made, it became a staple in my life.  Having a word for the year allowed me actually start each year focusing on what really matters: not whether or not I lose weight or get a new car or find the love of my life but who I am and how I am in the world.  A word for the year gives me the opportunity to honor the fact that our entire lives are journey.  That we are always growing and that by choosing a word for the year, we really choose in reverent awareness how we wish to grow while making sure that we happen to life (instead of life happening to us).

And so, today, I want to invite you to choose a word for 2014 that allows you to build a consciousness in you about the type of life you want to have, the ways in which you want to grow and that honors what you most want to feel in your life.

Too often, we blindly make lists of things to do because we think we should. And, yet, those lists can often take us away from ourselves.  We look and think, “this isn’t what I wanted.”  If you start with how you want to feel in your life, how you want to be in life, then you can’t get that far away from yourself.  Figure out who and how you want to be first and then your to dos come from a heart space and not a should do space.

The thing that matters most in our growth is articulating how we want our lives to feel, how we want to feel, really assessing who and how we want to be in the world.  Because when we know that, we can build a life that allows us that feeling and then every day feels like we are living in our true calling.

Intention setting is about having an internal resolve and a desire to move towards something that will serve you better as you move forward.  It is claiming the desire to live your life in a certain way so that things happen on purpose rather than by accident.  It is making life happen by your choices, energy, and focus rather than having life happen to you.

After setting an intention, you can claim your vision, and then it is after that vision has been formed that you can begin to move into action (and all those to do lists that articulate and motivate the necessary action).

Ready to get started in choosing your word for 2014?  Consider these questions….

What feeling do you want more of in your life?  What shift or focus would bring you a greater sense of wellbeing or satisfaction in your life?    

What are some of the words you hope will describe your 2014? 

If you had to choose a word for 2014 right now, what would it be?  

Of note:  If you have more than one word in mind, complete the rest of these questions with each word in mind.

Also, as you consider a word, think about words that are broad enough to encompass many aspects of your life yet specific enough to really inspire meaningful growth for you.

Why do you think you need this word and all that it manifests in 2014? 

What would embodying this word daily look like for you?   

How is this word already a part of your life? 

If what ways do you need to better embody this word? 

What happens if you don’t grasp this word in your life? 

If you embody this word every single day until 2014, how will your life be different on January 1, 2015? 

What are some things that incorporating this word into your life will cause you to manifest, create, do, build, complete? 

What are some goals you might like to accomplish this year based on this word? 

You’ve got a word.  Now what? 

As for me, I use my word as a powerful touchstone to return to when I need grounding.  A few years ago, I choose wholehearted as my word for the year because I really wanted to make sure that everything I did in my life was wholehearted.  Having wholehearted as my touchstone reminded me to only commit to activities that I could do wholeheartedly, if a sense of dread overcame me when I received an invitation, I had to say no.  And it also reminded me that when I was somewhere, I needed to be there wholeheartedly and not be distracted by where I wasn’t.  Returning to the idea of wholeheartedness every time I got an invitation was so clarifying whenever I was invited to do something (it also taught me so much about saying no in my everyday life and in my work and allowed me to really live on purpose).

A cautionary tale: Don’t abandon what you most need for a sexier word.  Last year, what I really wanted and needed in my life was EASE.  But EASE was so unsexy.  So I changed my word for the year to FLOW (at the time that is not how I saw it, but now I can see that what turned me away from EASE was that I wanted a different word, not that I needed a different concept).  As it turns out, flow did nothing for me.  Nothing.  I should have formally broken up with it and changed words mid-stream (see what I did there?). I didn’t.  I was just in a constant state of un-ease and ebb (rather than flow).

Use your word as a guide.  I always write my word on a stone that I keep on my desk- a constant reminder of who and how I want to be.  In addition, you might buy a word of the year necklace to remind you of your commitment.  Last year, I got word of the year necklaces for a couple friends from this artist I found on Etsy (I do not have a relationship with her and this is not an affiliate link).  The style I chose for my friends was the name bar.  One of my Passion. Purpose. Plunge retreat clients last year had the idea of putting her word for the year on a canvas and hanging it in a space she would constantly see it as a reminder of her focus.

Need some inspiration?  Check out these gorgeous choices from this past weekend’s visionSPARK participants.

visionSPARK 14 words

As for me, I am auditioning two words:  Abundance and Thrive.  We’ll see which one makes the cut but I can promise you that I won’t choose whichever word is more aurally soothing to me.  I am going to go with the one that I most need to guide me this year and that most moves me towards the feeling I want to have in my life.

So, what’s your word for the year or which ones are you auditioning?  What are you hoping this word will offer you in 2014? 

Please share your thoughts here so we can offer each other support and inspiration as we spark our new year!

 

The Happy Sheet: Try to be alive

Try to be alive