# 1
So my sister called me on Wednesday morning and this is what I hear when I say hello, “So I drop the kids off at pre-school and then make my way back down the hallway when I pass a woman who is bent over hugging her child and she has on mint green shorts (I am thinking, “why is she telling me the color of this woman’s shorts?”) and then I notice that her underwear band is sticking out and her underwear are rust colored (Now I am thinking, “why is she telling me the color of this woman’s underwear?”) and then I notice that her underwear say “My dog is cuter than your dog” and you can read it clearly through her shorts.
Just in case you are wondering, my sister didn’t stop the lady and tell her that she could read her cheeks. I thought she should. She thought it would be awkward. No more awkward than being the laughing stock at your child’s pre-school, though.
Do you have underwear with cute sayings across the bum? Are you certain that you wear them with clothing that is not see through?
# 2
The other day, I picked up baby from his crib after a nap. I was lifting him up over the crib bar which meant that he was higher than face level and I had my face tilted up while I talked to him. “Hey Critter! How was your nap?” I asked him just as he let out a burp that was accompanied by spit up. That landed in my open mouth. The miracle? Some might say it is that I didn’t throw up. Really, I know it’s that I didn’t drop the baby in the state of shock I was in. Instead, I calmly walked to our bedroom, put baby on the floor with his toys, and then proceeded to brush my teeth vigorously. A lot. Who knew there were such occupational hazards with parenting? And please tell me I am not alone. What have been your occupational hazards with parenting or babysitting?
Your babe is sooo cute!
Yes, there are hazards to motherhood! When Abram came home he was was Mr. Poopalot! He had so many blowouts, I could not even tell you (he ended up with parasites) My pants fell victim many times.
When Solomon came home, he puked ALL the time. Every night before he went to bed at least. And every night it was ll over me! He even puked while theplane took off, leaving ET. It was everywhere!
I have more but heres 2 😉 kinda long .. sorry 🙂
I think I told U about hosing off the lil boy i was a nanny for.. poor kid threw up all over his shoes and I WAS NOT gonna touch them!! so out came the water hose.. he was fine just got sick from running around right after he ate an ice cream sandwich.. yea i couldnt eat one of those for a long time after seeing that..lol
One night after a looong day hanging with my family, my mom pops her head in my room to tell me she and My Tia are going to the store and that they would be right back.. the catch? they want to leave my little cousin with me.. “**sigh** fine but be right back!” Cut to me sitting with her on my bed talking on the phone and playing with Amanda, who was lil over a yr at the time.. So I get all into my phone convo ( i was a teenager..lol) and left Mandy to play alone.. I see she is crawing to the end of the bed.. so i reach over and grab her leg and thats when I feel something WET!! i hang up to invetigate and discover that shes is wet from the back of her neck to the tips of her socks.. It was PEE!! all over her clothes and now my bed! I clean her up and change my 1st dipper ever!!! When Mom and Tia Get back (an hr and a half later/ brb my foot!) I asked when was the last time either of them had changed Amanda.. they just looked at eachother and said “Oh I thought U were changing her all day”..nice parenting huh..lol
and now that Amanda (yes the one from the story) Is having her baby soon (2wks?) .. Im sure there will be more gross/funny stories to tell..
note to self: dont lift Luke over my head with an open mouth..CHECK!! lol
Yum!
Can’t wait!
Re- gurgitated chocolate milk ( one of those 16 oz bottles ) while going 80 miles an hour on I-77. Enough said – Oh 95 degrees outside – oh and about 2 miles later one of those deluge thunderstorms.
Plus my oldest ( same chiild as above)was world champion puker – so bad that I gave up buying cloth diapers for burp cloths and started buying receiving blankets to use.