Making Spirits Bright (or how to set an intention for the holiday season)

A poster for the Girls Empowerment Network Conference in Austin, Texas

If we aren’t careful, we can look up at the end of a holiday season and say, “wow, that didn’t go the way that I wanted it to go at all.”  With so many expectations, invitations, and people involved, it’s pretty easy for us to just start saying yes without thinking through if the offer/opportunity/commitment also brings us joy in the holiday season.

If you already have a little dread about the next month, then setting an intention for the holiday season may be just the right strategy for you. An intention allows you to gently keep your priorities and values front of mind and, with just a little bit of reflection, it can help you gain clarity on what experiences and activities would support your intention this season. It’s a reminder, a prayer, a hope made known.

If you want to try intention setting this holiday season, here are some tips that might help.

Get quiet so you can get clear. Setting an intention really just starts by getting quiet and doing some reflection. To help you discover what you desire from this season,  answer these questions in your head or on paper.

When you think about the holiday season, what do you most want from it?

What do you want to be doing more of?  What do you want to be doing less of?

How do you want it to feel?

After you review those answers, you’ll have some clarity about what it is you most want and need from the holiday season and I encourage you to package that in one word (peace, presence, joy, gratitude, etc) or an easy phrase so that you can keep it front of mind and hold that value as a priority as you make your plans. If you like a good pun (and it’ll help you remember your intention), you can even package your intention with a holiday saying (Make Light, Making Spirits Bright, Silent Night, etc).

Survey the scene. If you are navigating the holidays with other people who might have their own desires, it could be helpful to ask those folks to also consider their intention for the holiday season. You can certainly use the same questions to help them discern an individual or a group intention. But, if they aren’t interested or the right age for that, you can at least get a sense of what is important to them about the season by asking everyone to share 3-5 things they love about the holidays or that they want to be a part of the celebration this year. Getting this insight helps you better discern what matters to everyone so that you can manage those expectations while living your intention. With these lists, you gain clarity on what you can let go of and what you might need to incorporate while letting everyone openly communicate about their ideas and plans.

In our house, we make a little checklist with our priorities (after talking about everyone’s list and coming to an agreement on what makes the list) and that’s what we try to make happen. When something extra comes up, we candidly talk about the challenge or opportunity that idea presents and figure out if it honors or would detract from our intention (if the opportunity only impacts you, you can use that litmus test for all asks).

Remember intentions are just desires not rules.  Sometimes, something goes a little different than we expected or we’re not quite able to say no when we wanted to, etc. Don’t stress if you aren’t able to live your intention 100% of the time. That’s life and those moments aren’t failures. What they do is give us information in the moment and for our futures and what I have found is that just by becoming conscious of my desire for an experience, just by knowing what I most need or want from something, my life is incredibly enhanced because I am moving through life with consciousness and clarity (and finding that more often than not, I am living closer to my intention which always feels like progress).  And never forget that if your intention goes sideways, you can always begin again in the very next moment.

Want to start 2019 with gentle support and intention?  Join me for visionSPARK (a live workshop in Charlotte or Davidson, NC) or intentionSPARK (a virtual workshop that you can participate in from anywhere in the world). Details here.  TODAY (December 2^nd) is the last day for the early bird rate!