the formula for a thriving life

We live in a culture that embraces speed.  Do everything as fast as you can, it tells us, and you will be enough.

We live in a culture that brokers in more.  Do more work.  Have more things.  Keep going, it tells us, and you will feel happy.

And so we set goals.  We come up with strategies and we chase those things down, clubbing them over the head when we reach them.  We didn’t just run the metaphorical or literal marathon.  We ran it while ignoring screaming shin splints and breaking our time goal.

Later, we sit with ice packs on our legs, considering if we finally feel like we have it all.  Once I ran the marathon, I thought I would be X, we think.  But we still don’t think we are X.

What went wrong?

We live in a world that tells us that the first thing we need to decide is what we are going to DO (like lose weight, for example’s sake).  And then, if we lose that weight, we can BE worthy, and HAVE respect.

But that formula doesn’t really work because it never has substantial ground to stand on.  It ignores that we inherently have worth and instead demands that we jump through hoops to earn what we have intrinsically.  And so it always feels wrong.

Want to feel better?  Don’t start with what you think you have to do.

Start with actually how you want to feel.  Identify how you want to be in the world.

I want to be peaceful, so that I can have a sense of perspective as I give my gifts to the world.

The formula for a thriving life isn’t Do->Be->Have.

The formula is Be-> Have-> Do.

You should always start with how you want to feel.

Realizing this, has changed everything for me and the place that I most regularly practice this approach is at the beginning of each new year when I sit down and carry out three important rituals.

Ritual # 1  Choosing a word for the year.  Yes, there is always a way that I want to feel in general in my life (peaceful, intentional, authentic).  But, with each  year, I have found that it can be particularly helpful to also choose how I want to feel/ be in that year.  This attention to what I most need in my life at this time of my life is incredibly respectful of the seasons of life and the reality that we are always journeying and there is always some new intention and attention that I can bring to my life.  Over the years, I’ve chosen various ‘words’ for my year, various ways to grow my being in the world:  Peace, Wellbeing, Wholehearted, Thrive. And at critical points in each of those years, I could stop myself before making a decision and ask, “how will this help me achieve a greater sense of peace, wellbeing, wholeheartedness, etc.”  Having a feeling front of mind for each year really does enhance how I approach most anything that comes at me during that time.  It allows me to really focus and shape who and how I want to be in the world.

Ritual #2  Creating a vision board.  Once I know how I want to feel, I capture what that will look like for me.  What things will I need to emphasize?  What experiences should I explore?  What concepts do I want to keep in mind?  My yearly vision board serves as a powerful reminder of what I believe is essential for my journey right now so that I can be even more intentional about who and how I wish to be in the world.

Ritual #3  Write a wellness prescription.  The most important step in beginning to take care of ourselves is claiming what we need for our care (and also being aware that what we need changes over time– maybe we only need X hours of sleep 5 years ago but now we nee more, for example).  Every January, I write out a prescription for what I need to do to take care of myself (from daily exercise to regular visits to the doctor, from massages to time with friends, etc).  I then incorporate my wellness prescription into my weekly review so that I am actively working on my well-being every single week of the year (because winding up in a hospital bed after months of ignoring your care is not the way to go, I assure you).

With these New Year’s rituals in place, I always feel excited about what the year has to offer and more confident in my ability to create the change that I want to see in both my world and the world.  Empowerment, as it turns out, isn’t just a fortune of the wealthy.  It’s a choice and we can make that choice every time we get quiet, claim what it is we most need, and offer it to ourselves.  That’s the good news:  your ability to thrive is in your hands.  You can be what you have always wanted.  You can have what you always hoped for.  You can do what you always doubted.  Begin.

♥

Do these New Year’s rituals sound like just what you need but you cannot imagine doing them solo?  Then join me for visionSPARK 2015 (EARLY BIRD DISCOUNT EXPIRES AT MIDNIGHT DECEMBER 1st).    

At visionSPARK, you’ll imagine the possibilities for your life and your year, gather inspiration, and then chart your vision with thoughtful support.  You will leave with clarity about your priorities and passions for 2015, an inspirational vision board to display, a touchstone word to root you and reinforce your commitment during the year, a gentle and personal call to action to guide you and the motivation to manifest the life you imagine.

visionSPARK:: because intention matters   

3 options:

 Friday, January 2nd from 9 am to 12:30 pm 

 at Triple Play Farm in Davidson

 Saturday January 3rd from 9 to 12:30 

 at Elemental Healing in Charlotte

OR

Saturday, January 3rd from 2 to 5:30 pm 

at Elemental Healing in Charlotte

 $60 registration fee includes pre-workshop workbook, supplies, and refreshments.

Use EARLY at checkout for  $10 off until 12/1/14.

 What Past Participants Have to Say

I attended Rosie’s VisionSPARK workshop with the hopes of setting some clearer work goals for myself. Those hopes were met and far surpassed. Just by spending time with Rosie I felt smarter, more grounded, and more capable. One of her coolest gifts is the ability to listen to women and extract the truth about what they are feeling. I think this has something to do with her amazing insight and incredible vocabulary… Rosie is like a modern day shaman and midwife; she sees your best potential and then helps you deliver it to the world.

Michelle Icard, Author and Founder of www.MichelleintheMiddle.com

Rosie’s welcoming presence, her insistence that we all deserved to and could live up to our full potential, and the support of the other participants, were the encouragement I needed to start moving forward again… Rosie shows you how to open your mind and heart to the possibilities of your own life. In a few short hours, we learned how to identify, then neutralize, the fear and negativity that stood between us and our desires…Thanks to VisionSPARK, I’ve been more creative, more willing to step out of my comfort zone, and kinder to myself in general. Signing up for one of Rosie’s workshop is one of the best gifts you can give yourself!

Lisa Rubenson

Having the opportunity to spend some time intentionally setting my focus for the new year through this workshop was a gift. Not only was the actual workshop time valuable, but the prep time also made me realize that Rosie’s mantra of organizing your thoughts around who you want to ‘be’ (instead of what you will do) will truly ground you in your specific purpose going forward. Having Rosie as our ‘Vision Guidess’ was ideal- she has an intuitive way of knowing exactly how to help you zero in and boil down your thoughts and ideas into that one main important point on which you will focus. I would highly recommend this workshop!

Donna Scott

On a crisp cold NC blue sky day, Rosie lit up the room with her warmth and spirit! It was a wonderful experience to listen to her words and to the words of the other women who shared this workshop with me. Rosie has a nurturing touch which guides others to see the real uniqueness that each person has to give to the world. I left with a peacefulness and knowledge of actions that would help me travel through my 2104 journey.

Laura Mulkeen

Dreaming about and planning for the future can be done alone, but it’s so much more creative, inspiring and fun when in the company of other women! Rosie encourages and leads in a gentle, yet get-it-done, manner — and workshop participates jump in with affirming support. The information and exercises are practical, while the experience is joyful and uplighting!

2014 visionSPARK attendee

What a great way to envision a new year! The VisionSPARK workshop with Rosie encouraged me to reflect, focus and articulate my desires in a fun and interactive way. Bravo!

2014 visionSPARK attendee