In my mid-twenties, I experienced a big ole’ heart break. After spending a fair amount of time sobbing on the couch, my roommate, who would probably tell you that she was grasping for straws about what to do with her formerly always sunny and now devastated roomie, dragged me off the couch and took me to get a manicure. My first manicure. A stop the tear flow sorta mani (is it any surprise that I choose a burgundy shade so dark that it was almost black even though I was in my rugged, all natural period. It was my own little inner-emo begging to be noticed). And while manis themselves didn’t stick, the idea that I could choose to do something kind to my body when my soul wasn’t feeling so swift did. Soon enough, I scheduled my first massage and was hooked. Then a pedicure. I even tried a facial though they really aren’t my speed (neither are manis but boy do I still love pedis and massages).
The point is that sometimes paying attention to our body is the best thing we can do for our whole self. And, in fact, there is science to back this up. As little as a thirty minute regular massage (2x a month counts) can boost body image and feelings of self-worth. When we nurture our bodies, we take away the venom from our words or actions and reward it for all of its hard work, thus rewarding our whole being for the hard work we do day in and day out.
Today: I want you to get (or give to yourself) a manicure, pedicure, facial, massage, reflexology, acupuncture, Reiki, or some other awesome body work done. If you can’t make it happen today, you MUST make an appointment for it to happen soon.
1. What body work did you choose for yourself? Why?
2. How did it feel and make you feel? If you have to schedule your appointment, when is it?
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This one is easy!! My husband took massage therapy classes, so he gives wonderful massages. About once a week, I am the lucky beneficiary of one of those massages. Not only does it relax me, but it gives us a chance to just be together, relaxed, and talk if we want. Also, it makes me vulnerable before him as I have to trust him to bare myself to him and let him work out all the kinks…I have a really hard time with trusting anyone to see me physically…let alone my soul…and since he is my husband, he sees both. So the massage is also an exercise in trust for me.
It always feels wonderful to get a massage. It makes me feel very special that he is willing to take the time, after he has worked all day, to give me a massage.
Oh, wow, how very cool, Valerie- and, yes, you are right, it is a gift to your body but also a gift to your relationship. Good for you for receiving his gift with such thoughtfulness!
I’m dragging myself out of bed & going for a long run as part of my marathon training- tough & brutal, but I love being healhty & fit. I WILL be sleeping in tomorrow 😉 and need to get a mani/pedi hthis weekend. I also play on scheduling a massage for next weekend.
I know that massage will feel especially good in the midst of all this training. Enjoy!
1. What body work did you choose for yourself? Why?
I have spent my body work budget for this month (I really set aside money for it), when I treated myself to a fish foot spa on Tuesday. So I can’t make an appointment for a new treatment because of finances, and then I thought I’d give myself a mani this evening, but there’s a cooking class I’m taking tomorrow. So: I had a long shower, did my cuticles, filed my nails and used my fanciest handwash and handcream. When I schedule September’s body work, I’ll dedicate it to you! Oh, and when school starts, I get a chair massage once every other week, a cheap deal from my boss!
2. How did it feel and make you feel? If you have to schedule your appointment, when is it?
I love having things done to my body, even eyebrow waxing! Any kind of massage, mani, pedi, spa days, I love them all. It’s a bit weird, really, I usually can’t stand strangers touching me, but beauticians are always welcome to work their magic. I like to look forward to my treatment, so I book them at least a week in advance, and then enjoy writing them in my diary and planning around them.
I think September will be a facial.
I love that you have this budgeted, Susannah, that’s awesome. And now I must know what a fish foot spa is– I am fascinated!
I scheduled an appointment for next Friday for a 1 hour massage. I have a Groupon for one I wanted to try out in my area. I LOVE what Susannah said in a previous comment about having a “body work budget”….I need to do this!!!
Great Groupon purchase, Jamie. And I bet GroupOn would be a great way to work self-care into the budget!
What perfect timing for you sage advice, I am currently in the breakup mode of a three year relationship. Moving back to my farm, getting a new job, not going to school this fall when I finally have the grant I have waited for forever, life is pretty sucky right now for me the big move is Monday after I get settled in I will schedule that mani love them and you are right need to do something for myself thank you so much for this posting it was just what I needed at this time in my life.
Oh, Nancy, my heart goes out to you. I completely understand. Yes, do some sweet things for you right now and be patient with the time you need to heal!
Today I decided to schedule a one-hour mindfulness/yoga session at a local meditation parlor. I know it isn’t technically a manicure or pedicure, but I am not very good at resting my body, and this is what I need. It made me feel anxious to think about sitting still and meditating and being with my body for that long, but also excited about the chance to do something good for my health. The appointment is tomorrow, and I look forward to it.
Oh, Marissa, this sounds like the perfect self-care. Good for you for identifying what your body needed and giving it to yourself!
Done! An almost total body care… face, skin, feet, etc… I think I’ve spent more than 2 hours in the bathroom – but OOOHHH was it good!!! A triple gift of love to myself:
– finally taking so much time just for myself, without any negative thoughts – I’m worth it! Go me!
– due to my current limited energy, I have to make choices every day. Usually I choose ironing-kid sitting-other family or home related activities. So I consciously chose to skip ironing! And you know what: the outside (and room) temperature was so high – it was really a gift of love to myself choosing NOT to iron!
– as I took care of myself in the morning, I was able to spend time with my daughter in the wading pool on the afternoon and enjoy the summer!
Bravo, Cecile. Your current situation is actually all about realizing and honoring the need for this and how doing this for you is actually giving others a gift, too. Love.
Today’s a wobbly day for me after an appointment this morning with my ED specialist and now I feel like I’ve been knocked off kilter. When I look in the mirror I feel happy with myself but she’s questioned my status quo and now I feel off balance.
Consequently,I’m questioning whether I deserve to give myself any of those things? I’d say, yes, but she’s making me think otherwise (perhaps it’s my guilty conscience wondering whether I’ve fallen back into a state of denial). I don’t quite know how to fathom this out.
However, if I were to choose a treatment of choice (and money were no object!) I’d have a full body Thai massage- bliss. But, the more economic DIY option would be a long, hot shower with my favourite shower gel, followed by a good moisturize and a face mask. I’d sit quietly with some music on and take my time painting my toe nails and enjoying looking after myself.
But, how can I ‘reward’ myself when I’m questioning whether I’m really being honest with myself? Such behaviour doesn’t deserve reward, it deserves to be understood and challenged.
LadyEm, I am sorry to hear that it is a wobbly day though I understand why it would be. Thank you for sharing so honestly. I had two thoughts come to mind as I read. The first deals with your last thought– how can I reward myself when I’m questioning whether I am really being honest with myself? Do you feel that rewards are only for behavior that can be labeled as good? I wonder what it might be like to allow yourself permission to enjoy things just because you are alive and taking delight is part of life. Even if we maybe made a choice that day that, upon reflection, we wouldn’t make again or even if we don’t do as well on a test or whatever. I worry about rewards being reserved for ONLY doing things right because that can be disempowering. And is treating our whole self a reward or a responsibility? I think because our body carries us through our lives and allows us to experience everything if it might actually be a responsibility we have to treat our bodies well in response to what they give us, in order to keep them running. What if you gave yourself permission to take that long hot shower not because you achieved some particular benchmark but just because you enjoy it and it makes you feel cared for? What would that allow?
The other thought I had was around your blood levels not yet being what your specialist would like to see. What if rather than having that be a reflection of the kind of processing you are making, you allow it to be information that shapes your days. My blood levels are X, I need them to be Y, and here are the steps that I need to take to get them closer to Y. That your blood levels are different from what you need doesn’t mean your bad or that you have failed, it simply gives you information about what to do moving forward. I know it’s not quite that easy and that the ED voice can sometimes be a confusing and misleading one, but I just don’t want you to feel like you’ve made no progress. Because you obviously have.
Wishing you continued healing and all things good!