Today’s post comes from the ridiculously talented and inspiring Julie Parker. I have felt a kindredness to Julie since I discovered her work last year. Not only does her business share a title with my book, whenever I read her stuff, I just feel like we could be BFFs if A. she would have me and B. the world didn’t separate us (this luminary is in Australia). While I can’t be her neighbor and share tea with her, I can share her good work with you (and feel free to drink of cup tea while you read). Here we go:
It’s such a small thing really.
But it can make such a difference in your life. In immeasurable ways. For the better.
What is this small thing?
It’s pausing.
You might be wondering what the big deal is about with me suggesting to get your pause on – but I so often share it as a compelling action for both counselling and coaching clients to take. And it gets amazing results. Could it also be something that beautiful you could use too? Let’s see where pausing or stopping or slowing down can be of most help to you…
When you’re eating. If you want to learn the benefits of mindful and positive eating (and who doesn’t want that!) then one of the first things you will learn to do is slow down how quickly you eat. When we ‘shovel’ food into our mouths we are missing out on the joy of so many things to do with food such as the smell, texture, appearance and yes, even taste. Slowing down and pausing between mouthfuls to really taste your food and savour it’s flavour will make you feel so much more satisfied with what you are eating, making you feel less inclined to go searching for more food because you haven’t had the sensory experience you truly wanted.
When you’re tempted to gossip. We all probably like to think we don’t gossip but in truth I think it’s pretty rampant. Especially when we are true to ourselves and admit that gossip is not just outright bitching, but can be simply talking about others lives or appearance or relationships or anything that could see us go beet red if caught by that person chatting away about. I have written about the power of committing to give up gossip and one of the best ways you can start to do that is by pausing before opening it. Your mouth that is! Just think for a moment – is this really necessary? Is what I am about to say going to add value to my world or someone else’s? No? Shhhhhhh.
When you’re upset. Any kind of upset – sad, angry, frustrated, worried. Rushing into making decisions or even saying or doing anything seemingly small when you’re upset is not a great idea. Even just a small pause or moment of reflection before you commit to doing something can make the world of difference. The difference between getting in a car and dangerously driving off – or remaining on the couch and having a therapeutic cry. The difference between saying something you may regret for a long time – or going outside and taking some deep cleansing breaths while you think about what’s best for you to do next. The difference between running away or facing up and moving forward.
When you feel nothing is going your way. While it may feel that way and even like the whole world is tumbling around you, there is always so much to be grateful for. It’s hard to find this gratitude though when you are dealing with persistent negative thoughts. Put the brakes on them for a moment and try my surefire power pause to help you regain some perspective.
When you’re making a big decision. If it’s big then it deserves big pause. When you stop, take your time and truly tune in to what your heart and soul is telling you – you will hear your best and most intuitive self. Your heart will speak to you and guide you as to what is the best decision for you to make. It’s hard to hear and delve into that if you don’t create the space you need in your life to hear your true voice. It’s there – in the space where you pause.
Today: Use the power of the pause throughout your day to give yourself a feeling of calm and wellbeing. Wherever it feels you most need to hurry, to push through, pause a bit. And pause between all of your bites of food and just savor the ritual of a meal, the taste of what you are having, the company you have.
1. Where did you pause today? What difference did it make?
2. How can pausing have an impact on your life? Where do you most need to commit to pausing?
Remember, your comments here about participating will get you entered in the giveaways!
♥
Julie Parker is a certified coach and clinical counsellor for women who want to shine with passion, confidence and unshakable self-respect – and take magnificent strides towards beautiful bodies, beautiful businesses and beautiful lives. Through 1:1 sessions, both in person in Melbourne and virtually around the world, Julie’s clients sift through their dreams, set crystalline goals, dissolve limiting beliefs and celebrate their successes as they begin to live their song. At Beautiful You, Julie shares inspiring images and empowering words to help women cherish their bodies and claim their brilliance. Find her online at BeautifulYouByJulie.com, Facebook and Twitter.
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Beautifully said!
Pause, sit back, inhale, exhale. Yes, ma’am … get your pause on! Love this and will share it all over. It’s been said “We weren’t created to be human doings, but human beings.” BE. BREATHE.
Lee, what a brilliantly suitable quote! 🙂
1. Where did you pause today? What difference did it make?
I love this idea. Pausing grants us a moment’s grace for clarity. That valuable moment to consider what we really want, how we really feel, why we are reacting that way.#
Yesterday I was walking into town and noticed a girl and was struck by how pretty she was. Her hair was elegantly swept back from her face, her make up was flawless and simple and she had a petite and femininely dressed frame. My instant thought was, how disheveled I must look in comparison with my curly hair, Capri pants and pumps. But I stopped and realized what I was thinking. Yes, she was a pretty girl, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not! I have lovely blonde curly hair (and, thankfully, was having a non-friz good hair day!), a slim, feminine frame,wearing a favourite outfit and with a content smile on my face.
My moment’s pause allowed me to loudly hear the negative inner voice that was attacking my self-confidence and then swiftly kick it to the kerb! The pause allowed me to time to connect with and hear my more softly spoken but increasingly present positive inner voice and believe it!
2. How can pausing have an impact on your life? Where do you most need to commit to pausing?
I am battling so many negative voices at the moment that my need to pause so that I can evaluate the harm I may be doing myself is of paramount importance and will hugely impact the progress I’m making. I will continue to commit to pausing when I hear the old familiar negative voice, or the voice of my eating disorder so that I can challenge it.
This is certainly is up in my list of most valuable challenges so far. Thank you, Rosie!
1. Where did you pause today? What difference did it make?
My pause today was just after lunch, I felt I had so much to do, that I was getting close to panicking. So I closed my laptop, and went for a run. After my run, I had a lovely shower and a drink, and then I went back to work. I was more relaxed than before, and I was also way more productive.
2. How can pausing have an impact on your life? Where do you most need to commit to pausing?
I think I need to learn to take time outs. Even if it’s only 5 or 10 minutes, when I feel overwhelmed, I need to step back. And I think maybe when I go back to school, I need to used the breaks as breaks. So not use them for emails or meetings, but just to eat my lunch, or drink some tea.
Boy, I should have read this earlier in the day…I could have used a pause at work. Right now, I am going to pause and listen to my children playing, and remember why it is that I work.
Since I started working through Shine this month, I’ve seen small changes in what I’m doing. Today I didn’t have a long pause that was conscious, but I have noticed myself taking small breaks and just clearing my mind of everything that is going on and relaxing for a few minutes. It helps me focus better when it is time to do work again.
Pausing is something that can impact my life if I let it…and I am seeing the committing to small pauses, at this point in my journey, is serving me well. I go balls to the wall, every minute I’m awake, whether its working, tutoring, going to school, taking care of family, or walking…I don’t stop until I fall into bed. By taking small pauses, I am giving my body a chance to relax for a few minutes, and learning what it feels like to take care of myself.
I wish I had read this before work today… But tomorrow is another chance to practice pausing! Though I did pause this morning when resting my hand on my husband’s shoulder while lying in bed. He was just about to get up because the alarm had gone off, and we both spent two minutes just breathing together and feeling each other’s warm sleepy presence.
I paused today in the grocery store when my four year-old was dancing around the cart noisily, getting in the way, and my one year-old was trying to climb out of the cart. I took a couple deep breaths then considered how we could make it through the trip in tact. Then I used the mommy-means-business voice to tell my son that now was not the time for dancing and to tell my daughter that she needed to stay put. Not that logic always works with preschoolers but it worked this time.
I was just thinking why did she start this in august with the kids going back to school i barely have a minute to breath and so wish this was started in September so that i could “pause” everyday and read it!!!
As I was walking today, I wanted to enjoy the nature around me – but I just couldn’t. I was hurrying, my head was so full with thoughts, voices, songs, to-dos … I stopped and breathed deeply. It took several minutes until I finally began to notice details in the landscape: the shades of single apples in the trees, a tree that was probably struck by lightning, 3 purple flowers… I went on, and curiously my steps were automatically much slower. As from this moment, I really, deeply enjoyed the walk.
Thanks to your post, I remembered following quote. For a while I paused much more often. I’ll do it again – Thank you for the reminder!
“Try pausing right before and right after undertaking a new action, even something simple like putting a key in a lock to open a door. Such pauses take a brief moment, yet they have the effect of decompressing time and centering you.” A life practice from Br. David Steindl-Rast
This post from Julie is just beautiful to me. It is so right on. It is amazing what a simple pause can do and I hope this is one day’s challenge that everyone will keep taking with them moving forward! Loved your comments!