I met Eileen Carter Campos through Voxxi. We are both bloggers there, and I’ve loved her heart-felt, honest renderings about everything from early breast cancer detection to falling in love. The bonus is that she is a lovely friend– the kind of virtual friend that you want to have in real life. I am honored to share her post, Loving the Inevitable You today:
Growing up around a thin sister all my life was not always easy, but then again it wasn’t too hard. Early on, I was aware that she and I were “different”. Different in the sense that of course she was thin, her complexion was darker. She was blessed with a caramel complexion that would just become a deeper color in the sun, she was the “triguenita” in our family. I, on the other hand, was content with my milkier white complexion and would burn immediately under the sun. A thick lather of SPF was a constant need for me. Even our interests were different, but I was okay with it. It never made me feel inferior, and I was comfortable in my own skin.
As we grew, so did my curves. I developed really quickly; to me, it was as if one day I bloomed. It was obvious I wasn’t a little girl anymore and, in school, the boys were recognizing it. It was not something that I thought about because my mom was quite healthy, as we like to say, and I also had family members who had those same exact curves. Those curves to me signified a sense of strength and beauty. There was never a negative emphasis placed on them and, therefore, I walked in pride.
Negative attention is the reason why many young girls may begin to have a negative sense of self-acceptance. If a person’s weight is a constant topic of discussion or it is looked upon as something “different” then the person begins to look and feel the way that they are being targeted. Of course, as I reached high school, I had boys comment about my curvy gluteus maximus, but I had pride in my body and all that it had to offer. I was convinced that I would find someone who would appreciate me for me. If it didn’t happen how I had hoped, well I knew that I was a beautiful being and my curves had nothing to do with it.
I often overhear girls in conversation and the way that they put themselves down due to their weight breaks my heart. It hurts me to know that they feel as if their curves define who they are, all that they have to offer. Latinas tend to be blessed with a curvier physique; this is inevitable at times. And even if we are not blessed with curves, we must remember that our outer layer does not define the person that we are and the person that we will become. Morals, culture, and traditions are some of the components that are part of our makeup. We are the portrait of our own unique self, and we must begin to embrace it more and realize some things are meant to be this way. Despite the emphasis on “thin beauty”, let’s remind ourselves that beauty is everywhere, not just in the way that we are shaped.
Eileen Carter Campos is the mom of two young boys, a teacher to 23 elementary school children, and a blogger at Voxxi. She was born and raised in Brooklyn, NY of a Puerto Rican mom and a Queen’s NY dad. She has a Master´s from NYU in Early Childhood Education. She adores teaching, reading and writing. Her absolute joy and what keeps her driven and humble are her kids and her husband and friend of 15 years. Follow her on Twitter.
I have always had a small body. Recently for some unknown reason I became a bit smaller. Every other day I hear people say “You’re so tiny,” “What do you eat?” ” You are so skinny,” and so on. I don’t think it would be socially acceptable to tell a heavier women things like “what do you eat?” ” You are so fat, ” and etc. so I don’t know why people feel it is okay to comment about my weight.
It definitely makes me feel different, or that I need to change my body. It is not everyday you come across people who love their bodies, who aren’t trying to loss weight or get into their body they had 5 years ago.
Thank you for the post, curvy, skinny, large, small, medium they are all beautiful sizes.
My friend and I recently made a vow to never mention body size or weight as a compliment. So no, “You look great, have you lost weight?” or things of that nature. I agree with Kourtney that no one should feel that it’s okay to comment on weight, period. It’s no one’s business what I eat or what I weigh, unless I bring it up.
I am a lady of size and once I said, “I weigh 215” and thinking she was complimenting me a woman replied, “I would’ve never guessed. You look like you weigh like 180.” I found it disturbing that other people have a number in their mind, as to what I weigh. If we could all stop doing that it would be a much more peaceful place.
I have been very thin, and now pretty chubby, and I’m far more comfortable with the skin I’m in now. I have moved away from trying to achieve some unattainable beauty standard, and moved toward trying to be healthy and happy.
Kourtney,
Thaank you for taking the time to read my post. I agree with you about not always coming across people who love their bodies and that saddens me. I have always believed, even in my size 10 days—there is more to me than my size.
Any size, shape, color—we are all BEAUTIFUL because it is really based on your character and the way that you treat others.
Thanks a million!
Melanie,
I think that is pretty cool about what you and your friend are doing. It is so much more important to be HAPPY & HEALTHY!!!!
Thank you for taking the time to comment on my post!
It means a lot!!!
Thank you for including women of all sizes in your “real women” image…as a woman “with curves” I used to think that skinny women were “lucky” and now I see just how manipulated we all are. We’re all real!
Like one of the other commenters said, I choose not to comment on other women’s looks any more…there’s plenty of other things to praise!
Karen,
Thank you for reading and commenting.
I totally agree-
WOMEN have way too much to offer–SIZE shouldn’t be the most important thing.
Tight hugs!!!