photo by Jill E. Williams
You know how you’ve never heard of something before and then you do hear about it and, all of a sudden, you notice it everywhere or how you bring up one thing and then start seeing it everywhere? Well, that is where I am right now.
So about a month ago, I talked here about how I was working on saying, “no, thank you” more often and more deliberately. And, then, on Sunday, I wrote up yesterday’s post about my mentee saying “you have time for what you decide to have time for” and that interesting concept I came across called a “time margin.” Creating a time margin, I knew, would require to create time which would require me to, you guess fit, say “no, thank you” more. I was on a very clear roll.
Well, as it turns out, there wasn’t enough synergy for the moment, there had to be more, and it came in the form of an email Monday night from a friend, suggesting that I go check out a blog post by Danielle LaPorte on writing a stop doing list.
And, dang, if that post didn’t align with my “say no more” and time margin posts, a simple reminder from the universe that I am moving in the right direction and that if I keep going I am going to find exactly what I seek which is the sweet spot where I align what I am meant to be doing in this world with what I have time to be doing and it just all is synergistic and good.
LaPorte writes of the Stop Doing list:
“Look back on this year and get very clear about what sucked. What didn’t work, got mired with resentment, felt onerous, weighed you deadly down? A note on resentment: you can’t continue to do things you fully resent and think they’re going to transform into enjoyable activities over time. It just doesn’t work that way.Think of resentment as a blaring, mega-watt STOP sign. And stop.”
Given that what I am about is living authentically and aware and accepting of my truths, passion, and purpose and empowering others to do the exact same thing so we can all just give the world the best of what we have to give (because how cool is this: if we all give the world exactly what we are meant to be giving with all the talent and love and power we bring to that, then the world gets what it needs and things totally transcend). If I want that for the world- the ability for each one of us to totally plug into what we are meant to plug into and blow the roof off it– then I have to start with me (seriously, let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me TOTALLY just swirled through my head because I am corny like that) and so saying no to the not-quite-right stuff and yes to the totally in my wheelhouse stuff allows me to do the best I can do, offer the best I’ve got and do it within a framework that is sustaining, sustainable, meaningful, and generous. It allows me to escape the busy-ness so I can get down to business- in all facets of my world.
Some of my Basta! list (Basta is enough in Spanish and that’s what I am calling my stop doing list) items have been on my mental don’t do list for a bit now, but I am claiming them here in writing, too. Others are totally new parameters after thinking through what would allow me to create the time margin of my dreams. I really believe all of these items on my Basta! list will give me the time margin necessary to further align with being my most authentic, energetic self and to do what I am meant to do, I have to be who I am meant to be– we all do.
So, here’s the beginning of my Basta! (time margin-themed) List:
1. No red-eyes and only layovers when it is absolutely impossible to get where I am going without a layover.
2. No weekend work email unless I’m on deadline.
3. No cell phone in the bedroom overnight.
4. No meetings, appointments outside the home at least one morning a week.
5. No writing assignments that aren’t mission, movement-based.
6. No distractions while writing.
7. No calling meetings to just call meetings. Really figure out whether a physical meeting is possible and what it will accomplish before calling for it.
8. No over-engaging in someone else’s stuff in a way that means I take it on by accident.
9. Not doing anything simply because I am asked- really discern whether or not my passion, purpose, gifts can add to the experience in some way and just be honest if they can’t.
What have you had enough of in your world? What is holding you back from being your best energetically? What would you put on your Basta! list?
i love the idea of making a list of all the crap that doesn’t work. and visiting it frequently.
havi from fluent self has a dammit list and book of me and making my own has definitely helped me figure out what does and doesn’t work for me. such a great concept!