Last Wednesday, on a sunny afternoon, I woke up my boy from his nap and put him down on the floor. He looked at me for a second, before running over, and said,
“Mama, I’m beautiful.”
And those three words. Those three words did me in.
Most mornings, BF wakes up Happy, and they have a little quiet time reading books before Happy comes running into our room to tell me good morning or I go bursting into his room to do the same. Either way, my words- though I had not realized it, honestly, until last Wednesday afternoon- are the same. “Hey, there’s my beautiful boy” or “how’s my beautiful boy?” And we hug and kiss and just make happy that we’re in each other’s life (I am not quite sure that there’s a better way to start the day).
That afternoon, looking at Happy, so proudly owning his beautifulness- his full-hearted, in your face happiness and love, love, love- I teared. That time, I felt like I got one right. As a parent, you don’t always get it right or, at least, I don’t always get it right. And so this one time, this proclamation of his own fabulousness, well, it was enough for me. Enough for me for a very long time, I think.
I’m not sure that I ever deliberately thought about how I greeted Happy in the morning– although it has occured to me that I do want him to grow up and know that seeing him again after an absence of thirty seconds or thirty hours lights me from within, that who he is matters to me, makes a world of happy difference in how I experience life (not that I want to define myself by him or by being a mom, I don’t. But I do want him to know that his presence is a joy and a gift and I want to make sure that I am not too tired, distracted, busy to demonstrate and appreciate that). And, yet, how I greet him in the morning is now one of his touchstones. Thinking about that has me thinking about how I greet people in general, how we greet people, how that first moment of coming back together with someone can have an impact on him or her, how I might be more deliberate about that moment.
How do you greet people? What is your favorite greeting? What is your favorite memory of a greeting? Has a greeting made a difference in your life?
Rosie,
Oh what a marvelous parenting win! I’m so happy for you. Thanks for the affirmation and reminder to cherish our rituals of connection. 🙂
Ann
Love that language, Ann, rituals of connection. Just lovely.
I say good morning beautiful to Isaiah as well and tell him I missed him when he was sleeping. The other night he had fallen asleep and then woke up a few hours later. He called me and said “momma I was missin you.” Again a teary moment!
And Abe is right he is beautiful. Hoping I get to see you guys again soon.
Jenn, Love that you wake Isaiah up the same way. That “I was missin you” story warms my heart. I’m drowning in back to school grading which I am finding most gets done on the weekends but I am hoping to right my ship by the end of this month. Fingers crossed!
Rosie, good on you!!! That is BIG!
One of my favorite moments on Oprah was when she was interviewing Toni Morrison and Morrison talked about how important it is to a child to know that he/she lights up the room for you.
From the Oprah.com site:
One of Oprah’s favorite lessons comes from Nobel Prize-winning author Toni Morrison and the question she asked of all parents: When your child walks in the room, does your face light up?
“When my children used to walk in the room, when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up,” she told Oprah in 2000. “You think your affection and your deep love is on display because you’re caring for them. It’s not. When they see you, they see the critical face. But if you let your face speak what’s in your heart…because when they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It’s just as small as that, you see.”
Toni’s comment has become one of The Oprah Show’s most profound lessons and has touched the hearts of many viewers—including Gennece, who says that hearing Toni’s lesson changed her. “My daughter ended up dying of cancer,” she says. “And the last two years [of her life], every time she would come home—whether it was from chemo or a party or the grocery store—I would always say, ‘Niecy’s home! Niecy’s home!’ And she would get so excited. … That made a difference in my life. And now when children are in my space, it’s authentic that my eyes light up, because my heart lights up.”
After all these years, Toni has one more lesson to offer Oprah Show viewers: Everyone needs to have a place that is all theirs. “It’s just a place where it’s you,” she says. “It can be creative, it can be a computer, it can be anything. It’s your sacred place and you own it.”
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/oprahshow/The-Greatest-Lessons-on-The-Oprah-Show_1/4#ixzz1XqMSEYjT
Love this, Kip. Thanks for sharing!
My mother is a morning person in a family full of night owls. She has a lovely, clear soprano voice and she used to wake my siblings and me with song. Two particular favorites were: Good Morning, Sunshine! and This Is the Day That the Lord Hath Made. As a teenager, I sometimes threw my pillow at her in frustration. But now? Being awakened with my mother’s voice and her cheery smile is one of my most cherished memories. Your son is as lucky to have you as you are to have him!
What a lovely way to wake up, Deborah! Those are cherished memories, indeed!