The days are long, but the years are fast. This is a senitment I’ve heard a couple places including in The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. That’s probably never been more apparent to me than as a parent. The days are indeed long, long, long, and then the years, they go in a flash. But I rememember feeling that way about other things to: high school, college, my first year of teaching. I remember reading Juliana Marguiles’ Aha! Moment in O the Oprah Magazine in late 2009, and she was tortured by the lack of sleep that came with having an infant at home. She called her mom, and her mom said, “Honey, this is just a moment; it’s not the rest of your life.” That statement resonated with me so much when I read it.
With those two sentiments in mind, one of the things that I am working on doing is just savoring the moment that I am in, especially if it’s a moment that Happy and I are in together: the cuddle on the rocking chair after his nap (even if I am dying to go to the bathroom or the phone rings or the laundry beeps that it is done), the breakfast cereal exchange (by exchange I mean that Happy wants some of what I am having, in exchange for whatever he takes out of his mouth to lovingly stick in my mouth. Sweet, eh?), the basketball competition out in the driveway, the book he wants to read for the seventh time consecutively. I am also savoring other things to: the hot blast of water in the shower, the quenching of moisturizer on my winter skin, the weight of a blanket on my legs, the feel of sunshine despite the chill of winter air, a friend’s visit to drop something off that lingers longer, a simple piece of chocolate, every sip of hot tea, the dance of light through my office window. I don’t love the cold or grayness of winter, I am chronically underprepared for it when I go out and it keeps Happy and I indoors more than either one of us can stand, and so savoring seems the perfect antidote for bypassing the winter blues and reminding myself to relish these moments that though sweet, sadly, will be gone in a flash. If I collect enough of them though, it’ll feel like my whole life was filled up with those sweet, savored moments.
What are you savoring these days?
I definitely have not been doing a very good job of savoring lately. Not because I don’t want to, but because I’ve been going through a REALLY rough time the past two months, and even on the “good” days, it’s hard for me to not focus when the next bad thing is coming. This is a good reminder to try to stop being so wary of what comes next, or even negatively anticipating it, but to TRY and set it aside to savor the good things. I heard song lyrics yesterday that really resonated.
“Turn the quiet up, turn the noise down
Let this ol’ world just spin around
I wanna feel it sway, wanna feel it sway
And put some feel good in my soul
Act like tomorrow’s ten years away”
Jennifer, I completely understand– I was there a lot for October and November with my dad’s health situation being so dire (and other things because life piles on like that) and then in December, just as I tried to lift my head up, dad was back in ICU. You get a little shell-shocked when you are in the midst of it. The key is to try, to allow yourself even a small savor of a piece of chocolate or a sweet moment, in hopes that they begin to add up. Those lyrics are a perfect reminder. Thank you!