For the last week, I, like all of you, have just been heartbroken over the earthquake and the resulting devastation – the further devastation of a country where many people already suffered greatly. Because we have adopted and the stories of orphans have been prominent in the news coverage, many people have told us that they can’t help but think of us during this time or they ask us what we know about providing relief dollars for orphans in Haiti. I have worried and prayed over everyone in Haiti and have paid ever close attention to the stories of Haiti’s children. I have wondered what I can do now and in the future, and I have also wondered other things – what if this had happened in Ethiopia, what if it one day happens in Ethiopia and I need to find the words to guide my boy through it, what if I am separated by a future child one day not just by the process of adoption but by disaster as well.
A blog that I read is called Party of Five. It’s written by the thoughtful parents of three beautiful children. They have five-year-old twin boys who were adopted from Haiti as infants and a little girl who is about 18 months. These last two weeks, they have been living with grief for what they have lost as a family and what a country they care greatly about has lost while grappling with how to explain the fate of a child’s country of origin in a compassionate and sensitive way. I encourage you to read this post, In the Wake of the Earthquake. It starts…
When the boys crawled into bed with us early on Wednesday morning we told them about the earthquake. Braydon and I had been up practically the whole night, watching the television in disbelief. “There was a big earthquake in Haiti last night,” I said. And then, gently, snuggled together, all four of us twisted up tight under the covers, “and lots of people died.” Owen’s first response came quick: “Is my birthmother o.k.?” It should go without saying how profound it is that this is what he first said. Generally speaking, in the raising of our children, we go by a rule of thumb passed on to me by my own mother: we answer their questions as honestly as possible, and we answer only what is specifically being asked (as hard as that is to do sometimes).
