Why do we stay?

So, be straight with me.  Have you you stayed with someone you shouldn’t have just because ______?  I have.  A lot of us have.  And I learned a helluva lot from it.  So, when Skirt! magazine asked me to be their F-Word essayist for November, I jumped at the chance.  I must say that I LOVE Skirt!  It’s bold and bright and brilliant.  Your hometown may not be lucky enough to have its own Skirt! edition yet (but over 20 communites around the country are), and, if that’s the case, I encourage you to get your fix online each month.  I have wanted to land a piece in Skirt! since I started writing full-time and to be asked to contribute was an honor.  Each month, they invite a feminist to write an essay about any feminist issue of her choosing.  I chose to write about the danger of staying in a relationship that isn’t right.  

There is never a day where it is better to be in a relationship that undermines, undercuts, manipulates, abuses, or takes advantage of us over being single and in a relationship with ourselves that is filled with self-love. 

… I write in this piece.  And I hope you will check it out.  Feel free to leave comments on the Skirt! board or here.  I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Want a teaser?  Here’s the first paragraph.  Clicking on it will take you to the rest of it!   

The first time it happened was on a cruise ship. We were seniors at two separate high schools, and our senior classes were taking their unofficial graduation trips together through the Atlantic Ocean. He chose to go. I chose not to. But I made him a mix tape so that he could have me there in spirit, one with great classic rock songs that would come back to bite me, like Love the One You’re With. It turns out he did (love the one he was with).