A friend recently e-mailed to see what suggestions I had for her as she started a mentoring relationship with a girl in high school. Here were my thoughts. I hope you’ll add your suggestions, too! I think the most important things that you can do with a young person are share yourself, reinforce their strengths, and give them greater exposure to the world. Here are some ideas that might help facilitate those things:
Get her a journal. In fact, take her to a bookstore and let her pick out her very own journal. Every now and again, give her a prompt that you will also reflect on. The next time you get together, share your answers to the prompt.
Read a book together at the same time.
Go to the movies or a play/ performance together and then grab ice cream so you can discuss.
Visit the local museums, zoos, and aquariums to check out the latest exhibits.
Take a class together—from pottery to painting to something that isn’t creative at all.
Volunteer together.
Visit a college campus together and take a tour.
Show her pictures of your youth and tell her stories. Invite her to show you pictures and do the same.
Take her to a meal at a restaurant that offers cuisine she has never had.
Take her to the library to get a library card if she doesn’t have one.
Ask her what she wants out of a mentoring relationship.
Listen, listen, listen.
And then do all the stuff you just suggested.
Good points, Veronica! I’ll add that you shouldn’t take any silence as a desire to not have a mentor or as a sign of dislike. Sometimes, it will take a while for a young person to warm up– maybe even until you prove that you are dependable. And sometimes, when you ask them what they would like to talk about or do, they’ll shrug or say they don’t know. That doesn’t necessarily mean they want to talk about or do nothing. Sometimes they aren’t sure what parameters you might have and don’t want to be embarrassed by suggesting something outside those parameters. Other times, they really just don’t know what options are available. This is a good time to have some concrete suggestions in your back pocket so you can say “would you like to x, y, or z.”
Excellent ideas, Rosie! And you are so right about teenagers and silence. A suggestion to add: garden or farm together (it makes a great metaphor).
I love it! Gardening or even going out to a farm and picking produce is a brilliant idea.