Shine

Shine Day 11: Take away the conditions

What do you want more of in your life?  I love to ask- of friends, retreat clients, workshop participants and even here on the blog. I want more laughter in my life.  I want more affection.   I want more collaboration. These are just a few of the answers I have heard to that question […]

Shine Day 10: You have a responsibility for your body (and mind and soul)

A few years ago, I was speaking at a school about self-acceptance when an audience member raised his hand. “Doesn’t self-acceptance just breed unhealthiness?  Aren’t you just giving people the right to neglect their bodies when we all know that there is an obesity crisis in this country?”  He asked. This is a question I […]

Shine Day 9: Remember beauty is subjective.

On the first day of each new semester, I have my students get into small groups and introduce themselves.  Along with sharing some details about themselves with their classmates, they have to share these two details: what they find emotionally attractive in a person and what they find physically attractive about a person. After all […]

Shine Day 8: You have to teach people how to treat you.

Have you ever noticed one person in your life treat you one way but treat someone else an entirely different way? “What’s that about?”  We think. And while there are some caveats, for many people, we treat people in whatever way is easiest for us unless we realize something different is needed. For many people, […]

Shine Day 7: Understand that it is NOT about you

You have a mother who laments your weight all of the time- no matter your size.  You can be at your thinnest and surely, she feels, you could look even better.  You could be at your heaviest, and she definitely lets you know it.  She says, “You would be so much happier if you just […]

Shine Day 6: We have to change our minds.

Shine Day 6: We have to change our minds.

  If I could just lose twenty pounds… If I just didn’t have these worry lines… If I just had a bigger bust… We pin our hopes on our bodies.  If our bodies would change, we tell ourselves, then everything else could change.  And so we go about our body projects with vigor and grit […]

Shine Day 5: We must stop the cycle of crippling consumption

Shine Day 5: We must stop the cycle of crippling consumption

“What’s the point of media?”  I ask when I speak to women about self-acceptance. “To sell us something!”  Everyone shouts back. “How do they convince us we need what they’re selling?”  I continue. “By making us feel inadequate,” someone whispers with realization, and it hangs in the air. Marketing exists to sell us something and […]

Shine Day 4: Raising our Consciousness

Shine Day 4: Raising our Consciousness

I was in my early twenties, blowing my crazy, curly hair out as straight as I could with the relatively limited skills I had coupled by my general impatience for beauty (in general, my face was always in a book while I was trying to do my hair).  Finally, after an hour under the hot, […]

The Happy Sheet: Our Authentic, Best Selves

The Happy Sheet: Our Authentic, Best Selves

Shine Day 3: Self-acceptance starts with a choice

Here is how we attempt to motivate ourselves: I am so stupid.  So lazy.  So fat. So ugly. So undeserving. So selfish.  So awkward.  So unlovable.  The list goes on and on. And with each one of those unkind, unfair statements, we break our hearts; we bruise our souls; we lay more bricks in an […]