28 responses to “Shine Day 3: Speak the Truth”

  1. emily strickland

    Oh, I think this is going to be tough….

  2. Valerie

    It is what it is. That is one of my husband’s favorite sayings. But I want to make something more out of everything. I am a very critical person, but 90% of that criticism is directed toward me, not others. If it weren’t for his love and praise of myself, some days there would be none at all. But when I read this work for today, I started really thinking about how I talk to myself, and I realized that this self-talk is the cause of most of the stress in my life; I am the only one who has the power to change it. So I made a very small, but very important start. My favorite thing to hate and criticize is my stomach/abdomen…so I made a positive statement to myself about my abdomen. Instead of the usual “oh my god, my stomach is so droopy and puffy and looks terrible in all I wear” I looked at my stomach and said “my stomach has some extra padding and loose skin, but this is because I have birthed six wonderful children…it is part of who I am and part of the reason I have six wonderful children in my life”. It is what it is, so I can learn to accept it, be kind to it, and move on.

  3. Susan

    I will try to be mindful of my judgments today. I find that just noticing them is a challenge! They are second nature to me…I’m really good at it! I like the suggestion to rephrase the judgments just as statements of fact.

  4. Lee McCracken

    My mind moans “Give up, already. It’s (the dream, the plan) too big for you.” So now I will listen and follow my heart, my Spirit, who whispers, “One more try. Keep going. Believe.”

  5. LadyEm

    I have already lied to myself today. I told myself that 300g weight increase is fine. It isn’t but I don’t want it to be more than that. Today’s truth is that I need to put on healthy weight and more than 300g every fortnight. I need to be comfortable with gaining healthy weight and stop trying to cheat the system.

    I let a digital number which flashes up on the bathroom scales dictate how I feel about myself; whether or not I feel confident, pretty, happy. That didn’t used to be the case. I was able to make myself happy! I knew my good points and embraced them and was accepting of my bad points because they were still part of me and nobody’s perfect!

    The line I am going to work on changing is the following: “A bigger number on the scales means I am getting fat.” I will work on believing and being comfortable with the line “A bigger number on the scales means that I am closer to being healthy again.”

    I don’t like my stomach and compare it to those of models and athletes (I am neither, nor do I want to put the effort in to look like either!). This is an unrealistic comparison. My stomach is rounded because I am a woman. That curve represents the centre of my nourishment and where, one day, I hope to nourish a baby! More importantly, I am so much more than my stomach! I love my eyes!

    This challenge is a toughie for all of us, I suspect. I expect I’ll have to make a conscious effort for some time to change the lines around; however, the outcome will be a happier, healthier, more confident and independent young lady again. I’m looking forward to seeing her reflection in the mirror again!

  6. Jamie

    This is really hard for me, too! I don’t weigh myself anymore and I’ve been wondering if I’ve lost weight and need to get those thoughts out of my head. My clothes fit fine right now, so maybe that’s what I need to do. Because if I start wondering if I’ve lost weight, I might be tempted to weigh myself and it can become obsessive after that…. does this count?

  7. emily strickland

    I was right. This is really hard. Especially when trying to find something to wear. And it keeps pointing me back to the original body warrior pledge.

    1. LadyEm

      Emily, which part of you do you like? Even if it’s something seemingly insignificant like the shape of your nails, or your ears! Then try picking an outfit but paying special attention to that part you like.

      For example, you put on a purple dress and then paint your nails a soft pink to compliment it. Pamper that part of you that you like and are confident about then, when you step out of the house and if you’re struck by a pang of insecurity, look at your painted nails and appreciate them and SMILE. I’m learning that walking with my head up and my mouth not turned down not only makes me feel a little more confident but I also find other people not so intimidating, I’m equal to them.

      I’m hoping that the more we learn to like our good bits the more we’ll project those to others. In my case, I like my eyes but I don’t like my stomach. So, I take my time over my eye make up and, applying day 2’s challenge, I make eye contact with people! If they’re looking me in the eye then they’re not looking at my stomach (not that they ever would be anyway!).

      We’ve all got our good bits, it may take some of us longer than others to find them and/or accept them, but we do and I will confidently say that you do too!

  8. alexis yael

    For I don’t remember how long, but for a while now (years, really), I have made it a daily habit to look at myself in the eyes in the mirror as I wash my hands and smile. At first it felt forced. So very forced. Then I started melting into the smile and sending love to myself. I think that was the real beginning of my self-love journey.

    Last summer I did some intense work on accepting my belly. (Oh so difficult. Still working on it, really, but so much closer to acceptance instead of hate.)

    This year, I’ve decided I need to stop hating my double chins. Easier said than done, but I am making progress. Letting it be what it is. I have skin and fat under my chin. When did that become a crime? When did that make anyone not beautiful?

    (Answer: it doesn’t. There are many people I find beautiful who have double chins. Ah, but in the media, most people either position themselves to receed the double chin or photoshop takes it out of the photo. Yes, indeed. My chin is not unique, though it feels that way sometimes.)

    1. Chibi Jeebs

      I love the idea of smiling at yourself in the mirror! I may have to borrow that. 🙂

  9. Cecile

    Before: “I wonder what my husband is thinking about me writing this long letter to a dear friend. Maybe he is judging me for not working right now. Maybe he thinks I’m lazy, or I’m making wrong priorities,or….”

    After: “Great, I’ve done the work I wanted, now I have time to write this long letter to my dear friend. I’m enjoying it.”
    And… my husband only asked if he could take my letter in order to post it.

  10. Amanda @ Click. The Good News

    OH mercy- I’d gotten 3 hours of sleep last night when I had to wake up. My eyes were so burning & red, but I was happy to be up, hair looked pretty good, and I was excited for the adventure ahead of me.

  11. Kip DeForest

    I really love Polly’s outlook! Now -the hard part is to change my thinking. My self talk is pretty negative, I know . I do try to give compliments (sincere ones) to others… Need to figure how to do this with myself. It is what it is.

  12. Cassie Virgin

    Like many, I’m my own harshest critic, so today when I saw the beginnings of wrinkles appearing on my neck and forhead, I tried valiantly to see them as they are- my surprise? I still looked like my happy self and all the pain went away.

    1. Valerie

      I love my wrinkles…they are my laugh lines…they remind me that I have six wonderful children and a husband who all make me laugh long and often, each in their own individual way. Thank you for reminding me of that:).

  13. Melissa

    This one is tough, yet my whole being KNOWS its exactly what I need to be doing, I have looked at myself for years thinking of all the things that need “fixing”
    Its tough not to look and not be a critic, but it IS what it IS and it is ME!!! One of a kind, original ME!!!

    These challenges couldnt of come at a better time, THANK YOU!!!!!

  14. Susannah

    So, I think I did well on this today,

    Instead of trying to straighten my hair, I just blow dried the front and let the rest dry curly. And I enjoyed the fact that it’s going grey, I decided a couple of months ago to let the dye grow out, and it looks fine.

    I also took a good look at myself in the mirror, and instead of counting spots and scars, and wrinkles, I just saw me. And I went out with minimal make up, just eye liner and mascara, and no foundation. I can’t remember the last time I did that!

    Oh and I enjoyed my yoga class today. I could do most things, but there were some asanas that are always hard for me (for instance, I have a hard time getting into handstands), and I was ok with that today, I did what I could, asked for help when I could use some, and enjoyed every minute of it. No judgment of myself and my progress at all.

  15. Meg C.

    This is why I’m glad for this challenge. I am my own harshest critic. BUT today I started to change my critical thinking. I stepped out of a bathroom stall and caught my reflection in the mirror and started to think, “my hair looks terrible!” I quickly reminded myself that it’s humid outside and my hair was simply reacting to the extra moisture in the air. I could fight it or I could accept it. It also reminded me that I don’t have to look perfect in order to be taken seriously and pointed me back to the commitment I made as part of the body warrior pledge. I am of worth simply because I am me.

  16. Nancy Horn

    1. How did you speak the truth to yourself today? What line did you change and how?

    Today –
    My gray hair is a thing of beauty, my age spot is just that – an age spot and my changing skin is just skin.

  17. tanya

    I made the decision this morning, and verbalized it out loud, that today would be a good day. I lasted until 1pm (lunch)at which time I found out frustrating news. It took me until 7pm, with a bunch of house cleaning to burn stress, before I felt that things would be ok.

  18. Sarah

    Oh man. This was kinda hard for me.
    I uhm, had relations with my love today and we actually TALKED about this … how I see my body vs. how he sees my body … and how I am doing Shine because I want to accept what I look like. (He was supportive!) But yeah, I am smart, I am funny, I am determined, but I struggle with “I have nice hair, my blue eyes are bright, these straight teeth are awesome!” lines. Though, they are true.
    As I go to bed tonight, I’ll repeat them to myself. Promise.

  19. Marie

    Of course, I noticed these wrinkles on my face, I know I have some gray hair. It’s hard for me to find shoes because my feet are so small. Anyway, all these details are not important because my son use to say : “Mom,you are beautiful!”. Details? Forgotten!! I focus on those 4 words and my son’s love message.

  20. rie

    this was hard for me, and because it was hard i realize how harsh i am on myself. i even tried to be funny with it and say “hey sexy” when i looked into the mirror. i laughed. i am learning!

  21. Erica @ Cult Of Kale

    I thought I subscribed to this but I’m not getting any updates in my inbox 🙁

    I was actually already talking to myself about this the past few days. I think the biggest thing I’ve learned to do to speak the truth to myself is just telling myself it’s okay. It’s okay to let okay, it’s okay to have some indulgences, it’s okay to go out late once in awhile with my husband (or sleep in the next day!). My biggest issues with myself are holding onto and obsessing over past issues.

  22. Jo

    Lately, I’ve been in a very stressful place in my life with far too many demands on my time, money, and energy. As a result, I haven’t treated my body and my health very well. I feel tired, in poor health, out of shape, and conscious of the weight gain that’s resulted from this stressful time. My usual inner voice speaks in harsh extremes, usually paired with criticism — i.e. “You will always be _______ [fat/exhausted/ill] because you ______ [have no willpower/are lazy/don’t deserve happiness].” But today, this inspired me to change those wildly inaccurate extremes to truths. Instead I can say “Right now, I am experiencing a lot of stress. I am not getting enough sleep, I have a chronic sinus infection, and I have gained weight.” These honest truths create space for here-and-now acceptance and create awareness of small things I CAN change to treat myself better.

  23. Shine Day 3 – Truth « Wandering Beyond Angie

    […] “Self-acceptance is about seeing the truth without judgement” […]

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