May Goals Wrap-up, June Goals Set

In May, I set three goals for the month.  The goals came from a combination of a list of To Do items that I just hadn’t been able to get around to yet and some goals I have for myself.

My three goals were:

1.  Get the process started for Happy’s certificate of identification (we have to get one of these in order to enroll in school, etc and couldn’t do it until his adoption was completed, filed and, well that, was two and a half years ago).  So this seems like an easy thing to do, right?  Except that there is a bureaucratic office involved that doesn’t have instructions on its website for how to do it AND never answers it’s phone.  Just has a voicemail system that says they’ll call you back with an answer and then doesn’t.  So, both, BF and I have been calling and leaving messages asking for instructions and, finally, on Wednesday, May 30th BF got a person on the phone and sent the paperwork off to make it happen yesterday.  Talk about “by the seat of our pants!”

2.  Plant our garden.  Done.  We have squash, zucchini, watermelon, cucumbers, eggplant, and various peppers trying to make it in spite of the heat, the drought, the local bunnies, and the fact that Lola likes to lie or dig in the veggie boxes.

3.  Write in Happy’s journal at least four times.  Done.  I am caught up on writing Happy’s funny stories in there and even did a funny Q&A with him for it last week where he told me his favorite song was- I kid you not- I am Sexy and I Know It.  Here’s the thing.  I don’t even know how he knows that song.  The only thing I can think of he’s heard it on the radio when riding with BF.   I’m so proud.

And then bonus goal:  Run at least 3x a week.  And, yep, done!

Now, for June’s three goals:

  1. Scratch off at least two of these activities with Happy from the Summer of Intentionality List: for example- go to a ball game, fly a kite, pick berries, and/or play mini-golf.
  2. Read on the porch a couple times.
  3. Finish the book proposal I am currently working on so that it can be sent to possible publishers.

Are you setting June goals?  What’s on your list?


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9 responses to “May Goals Wrap-up, June Goals Set”

  1. Cecile

    I’m really glad that you finally get the documents for Happy’s certificate! You’ve reached a milestone!
    It’s really great that you managed all of your goals! Sadly, I’ve totally neglected to write anecdotes from my daughter these last months…

    May’s goals were:

    – Take care of myself and my unborn baby: done. I have the great fortune that my doctor is really taking care of me, and I could take care of myself and my little darling. My eating habits went from quite bad (before I knew about my pregnancy) to quite good, and I find the rest I so deeply need. I am very grateful for all of this!

    – Find moments of quality time with my daughter: done. Down to our whim, we read books, sing and make some music, have a talk, play a boardgame, cuddle, or only lay together on the sofa. We even managed to do some short craftwork!

    – Delegate the works in my front garden: the most important is done – the dahlias are planted, and the area was cleared out. I’m so thankful!
    Now the roses are wonderful and smell so good! A small corner of paradise…

    June’s goals:

    – Garden: seed (or delegate!) cucumber, cantaloup, eggplant, radish, cape gooseberry, additional salad, also flowers to protect the vegetable: tagetes, nasturtium / patiently wait for the other plants to grow (I’m looking forward to our approx. 20 almonds!)/ and last but not least: enjoy what we already have: salad, strawberries, fresh herbs, flowers.

    – Find diverse little activities that I can do while laying on the sofa (thank you for the idea to write again anecdotes from my daughter!)

    – Find inner peace by accepting that I control quite nothing in my life (but everything turns to the best so far – it seems that my control is not necessary! Who would have thought that God knows better than I….).

    Bonus: find my way to becoming more resilient.

  2. Cecile

    Rosie, I understand what you mean. My anger is not a kind of ventilation of accumulated inner pressions – I’ve learned to hear to my body, and express what I feel, e.g. “I’ve called you already 4 times, I don’t have any patience anymore, come now”. Beeing able to name my emotions when they occur is ventilation enough, and helps me to de-escalate emotionally.

    My deep-anger is mostly related to the feeling of a lack of respect and recognition of who I am. I know the why of this wound. Such a situation can occur in diverse areas of my life, but of course as a mother I experiment it often with my child.

    My daughter D. (let’s call her Delight), as a 3yo, regularly tests the limits we set. From time to time with a huge power. Once, twice,…. again and again. I would show her the limit. I would defend the limit. This limit won’t move. I’d prefer spend my energy and time playing with her than defending that limit, and I explain it to her – if we keep arguing, we won’t have enough time to read/play afterwards.

    But she just HAS TO try further “what happens if I go one step further? and one more?”. I would began to get angry, and tell it to her. This limit WON’T move. Stop it. But she tries again and again…. and all of a sudden, I slip into the quicksands. It feels as if I was hurt, laying on the ground, and somebody would continue to hit me again and again. It feels not tolerable. The message of my anger would be “I feel I am not respected at all. I don’t know how to feel respected again”.
    And this subjective feeling of not being respected, the feeling that she deliberately wanted me to be hurt, is one that stucks. Even when Delight (finally) recognizes the limit and accepts it, and changes her behavior, I still have the feeling that only my anger was able to bring me respect back and I am resentful – though I know it is totally wrong.
    Instead I shall think “Hey, see, she accepts the limit, her experiment was successful and is now closed. And she only drives her experiment so far because she trusts me and she respects me, she feels secure and accepted – otherwise she would not dare to do it.”

    To see my reactions is part of her experiment. I think it is OK that she learns that people may get angry when she is going too far. But I also wish to be able to switch my mood, within few minutes after she closed the experiment. Because she has already learned from it. And she’s simply moving to another activity. She trully don’t understand why I am angry for so long, though she did all I wanted her to do. A devastating feeling for a child. In this context, resilience seems a very good tool.

    Rosie, if you come to Germany some day, I’d love to welcome you and your family, and show you the region!
    I also believe that in case you would be holding a seminar / retreat in Europe, I wouldn’t be the only one interested…. who knows what’s written in the stars!

    Thank you so much for your listening and support!
    Have a great day!

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