Sometimes (most times, um, all times) taking the time to write a blog post really is about taking the time to remind myself of what I most need. And so, Sunday night, when I shared the 25 words exercise for my Monday blog post, I thought I was just sharing an exercise. And then I typed my 25 words or less statement:
I am a woman who is suddenly aware that I can control my destiny by creating the day I most wish to have.
Check ‘write Monday blog post’ off the list and move on, right?
Or not. Because then, Sunday night, I proceeded to go to bed too late which meant that I woke up too late to squeeze in my morning workout, a shower, and some time at my desk before Happy woke up which then meant that I didn’t really create the day that I most needed to have. Instead, I created a situation where getting in my work out was a matter of negotiation between mine and BF’s schedules and our family needs and my desk task time exploded so much that I had to put off for another two days (because I don’t have writing time on Tuesdays) the article that I had wanted to write, initially last week, and then, ultimately, on Monday but will now actually be on Wednesday or some other day (thank goodness I work way ahead of deadlines, eh?). And just like that those 25 words became an illuminating mirror into myself, a crucible. All I needed to do to create the day that I most wished to have was go to bed on time Sunday night.
And there’s my lesson. I know I need to create the day that I most wish to have. I know that doing so is about my choices. But I have falsely believe that the choices that matter start each new morning- that the tomorrow that is before me holds promise unto itself. But, in fact, creating the day I most wish to have doesn’t begin when I wake up. It doesn’t begin tomorrow. It begins the night before when I lay my head down after turning the television off and closing my book. And if I want to have the life I imagine, I can’t just be laissez-faire about bedtime, because my waking time sets my day in motion.
Creating the tomorrow I most wish to have begins today. Point taken. And so, today, I will operate in a way that allows me to get myself back in sync. That allows me to live the day I most want to live while putting roots in place for my tomorrow. Hopefully, I’ll get most of it right. If I don’t, though, I’ll just gently take the note- like I did on Monday- and make the adjustments I need to make with loving awareness and keep going.