So, about five years ago, I started a novel that I’ve never finished. It never got finished because other paying gigs came along over the years, and so I’d shelf the book to go make money so we could eat and all. Anyway, I recently (read: yesterday) pulled my manuscript back out of the drawer because I could use a little no pressure creative push right now and have just arrived at a fun scene to write: a first date. Now, this first date is going to be a good one because my poor girl’s life is going to fall apart the next day and the least I can do is give her a happy first date to remember in the midst of all the gloom and doom that’s coming. Because I am just that nice of a make-believe puppeteer. But thinking about first dates has me thinking about bad first dates. And I can’t help but ask– what was your worst first date?
Since it’s only fair to answer what you ask, here is mine.
I am somewhere in my early to mid twenties. I’m a high school teacher, and a friend of mine wants to set me up with a guy she works with- who also works in a school (I will not give more details than that because although I cannot even remember this guy’s name or what he looked like (other than tall) for the life of me, I want to believe that he grew up to be a better man than what he demonstrated that night and because he might have, I’ll provide a protective layer of anonymity). Sure, I say, because I happen to really trust this friend. This guy and I make plans for dinner and meet at a restaurant. As we’re talking- which seems to be going fine- the waitress comes up to take our drink orders. She looks to be a few years younger than us. And as she takes our orders, she chats us up. Now, I can’t even remember what the conversation was about, but we certainly talked about more than our drink orders.
When she walks off, my date looks at me and says- with not one lick of irony and a whole lot of self-importance- “I just hate it when the help talks to you.” Excuse me? Instantly repulsed, I managed to get out, “I used to be the help.” Needless to say, we parted ways after dinner (I am not sure how I even managed to stay through the meal) and never spoke again.
Alright, your turn. Worst date ever?