Family: a revelation

Once, when I was 29, a student asked me how old I was.  It was the beginning of the school year, and she was a freshman so I was new to her.

“Twenty-six,” I answered and kept going on with that night’s workshop.

About thirty minutes later, as the students were quietly working on something, it dawned on me that I had totally told her the wrong age.  I was 29 not 26, but, somehow, I had never, in my mind, come to think of myself as a 29 year old. 

“I am so sorry.  I just realized that I told you I was 26, and I am not.  I am 29.  I just don’t ever think about my age and kinda forgot how old I actually was.”

Needless to say, the student who asked was totally confused. How does someone forget her age? 

A few weeks ago, a dear friend, who is also a mom of a toddler, emailed me with a note that said something close to this:  “Have you collected any good information on flu and swine flu vaccinations for children and the potential benefits vs. risks?” 

I thought, Ah, bummer, I’m not writing about vaccines right now and so I haven’t done any research and have no sense of what parents should consider with the new swine flu vaccine.  Wish I could help her out.     

A day later, it dawned on me.  She wasn’t asking me as a writer who has a wellness/health beat.  She was asking me as a mom.  As in I am a woman who now needs to make decisions about flu shots for my child.  Totally missed that one. 

On Tuesday night, I was teaching a journaling class and I was having participants consider the way they balance their lives.  I gave them categories for consideration including family.  When it came time for me to consider how much energy I was putting into my family, I gave myself a “3” because even though I had talked to my sister and broher in the last two days, it had been a few days since I had talked to my parents.  A few minutes later, as I was reviewing all the pieces of the puzzle, it occurred to me that the category FAMILY no longer referenced only my relationship with my siblings and parents.  I have a family now! 

I mean, come on, everyday, I obviously operate in the world as a mom.  I feed my baby boy, sing to him, run up and down the driveway with him in his car, put him down for naps, tell him “that’s not a toy” more times that I can count.  I redirect, change diapers, give him medicine, do laundry, dress him.  BF and I negotiate schedules, amend our approaches, regroup.  We are so clearly a family.  Like the time that I said I was 26 when I was really 29, even in the midst of doing these grown-up things, I sometimes forget that I have the role that goes with them.  I am somebody’s mother.  I am half of a head of household team, I am the CEO with BF of a family.  And the fact that it took me 8 months to realize OH, THAT’S WHAT THIS IS kinda cracks me up.