If you kiss your baby after applying oragel to his gums, your mouth will go numb (since our baby likes to open his mouth in a big O when he gives a kiss).
If you are opportunistic when trying to feed your baby and look for any opening of his mouth to stuff food in, you will inevitably find that one of those openings is the precursor to a sneeze and you will end up with baby food all over you.
If you are as simple minded as we are after three months of sleep deprivation, some jokes will never get old. Case in point: baby takes a bath in a rubber duck. The duck has suction cups on the underside of it for us to hang it on our shower wall after bathing to dry. BF does this immediately after the bath while I prep baby for bed– putting on lotion, putting in hair product, etc. The duck always falls down about 2-3 minutes after BF hangs it up, and when it does, it always sounds very dramatic, like a tree limb falling on the house. The other thing that always happens? I say, “What the duck?” and BF laughs like it’s the first time he ever heard that joke.
If you have thighs and a bum the size of baby’s, which is to say the size of an NFL linebacker’s, you will inevitably get stuck somewhere when you begin to crawl backwards (no forward motion yet, though!). And when you do get stuck under mom and dad’s dresser, unable to go backward any more because your butt doesn’t fit under there and unable to go forward because your diaper’s wedged under there, your parents will laugh while rescuing you.