So, there are two things that just break my heart almost every night.
1. After baby’s been down for a little bit, I’ll do something that brings my hands to my face and, then and there, my heart fills up with baby because my hands smell like him after giving him a bath, lathering him up, and producting up his curls.
2. And then a few hours later (oh, who am I kidding? I really mean a few minutes later), baby wakes up and when I get to his side to soothe his crying, the sweetest thing happens. His mouth, cracked open in crying, changes. It shifts to something else– a smile– and it makes me smile. Maybe it’s not sweet relief washing over him that his Ema is there. Maybe it’s just gas. I don’t really care what it is. I just know that it makes my nose sting and the tears rush and the many wake-ups each night so worth it.